The way you move sets me on fire. My senses real with a longing desire
over and over my minds keeps projecting this fantasy
you have a spell over me that I can not get free
Hello daydream youâre here again. Can I please come in and be alone with you
Hello daydream youâre here again. Look inside my brain is there room for two
A special place for me and you
You come to me without makin a sound. So magically when thereâs no one around
Are you for realâŚare you hereâŚor are you just fantasy
You have a spell over me that I can not get free
Youâre so close âŚnow I can almost touch you
Hurry now come to me cuz youâre fading out of view
but youâll come back to me I know
This is very good Mr. F. Rhythm guitars and layered vocals work great. I donât know about Neil but I like the way you lowered your voice and opened up room for the harmonies. And that bridge is wonderful, I never saw it coming! You could tweak the lead vocal there, itâs a little squawky maybe. I guess you could add some space here and there, everything is in close and kind of dead, just my two cents. And thereâs room for some added instruments (fills too?). But hey, it even has an ending, Iâm impressed!
Nice one!
As I listen, I will tend to agree with ingolee a little in that a little space in some instruments may assist it but I really like it.
I donât hear the Neil Diamond influence much, more like Beatles and Neil Young to me.
Love how the song pushes and pulls through each section. The pre chorus is awesome⌠although I feel like the drums shouldnât pull back half way through them as it sort of kills the build for me.
Great harmonies and melody in the chorus. Thereâs something not quite sitting right with the vocals in the chorus which is stopping me from outright loving it. I think they are a touch loud and /or dry⌠dunno.
What I do know is Iâll be singing that damned chorus for the rest of the day!!! I really like this!
Hi bud Unlike other years, I have vowed to finish songs now. ha ha This is the first try and there are many areas to improve on. Each comment will be addressed and repaired. I havenât started on fills and other sounds yet, but I went in this morning and sang over that weird voice bridge again. I left the old one a bit to the side and quieter. I am using the AKG 414 on this one. I donât know why? It was just set up I guess. I get too close and it doesnât like that. Not sure what you mean about everything is kinda close and gives it a dead feel. I will google that. Going to mess with my PRS today. I look forward to that. Crappy cold day here anyway. The best to you
Hi Daniel Ok, space is my number one priority today. I hear my unchanging guitars on both sides droning on. Gotta get creative. I found the drum pullback and fixed it this morning. Well at least I think I did. You really nailed it on the chorus problem I started with the lead vocal isolated this morning and started adding the other three individually. Everything was sung decently close until I hit the high note one and man was I off. When I sing falsetto, sometimes I wander. I re-sang it and it really sounds better. Good catch. I have been singing the chourus away from the sudio too. I guess that is a good thing. thanks so much for your help
The main problem is the lead vocal, it has a very large build up of 250Hz, which makes the instrumentation sound like a karaoke backing track with a live vocal dumped on top of it.
I would get vicious with the high pass filter on the vocal. Donât stop turning it up until youâre physically in pain. I personally would get it close to âtelephone voiceâ territory.
Then, bearing in mind the title of the track and its overall mood, I would slap a healthy dose of BPM-related delay, followed be a nice long spacy stereo reverb, to give it a dreamy feeling.
If youâve done a proper number on the lead vocal you may find you need to high-pass the female backing vocals too so that they gel with the lead vocal and the instrumentation.
The only other problem is a general 100Hz build up across the track. Easily remedied with an EQ cut on the 2-bus.
I really like the song and the confident vocal delivery.
Hi AJ Sorry I havenât gotten back to you. I did some research on what you recommended and messed with the song a bit. For the first time I put a compressor on the whole mix and found it was indeed very heavy in the 2-300 area. I first selected a bass EQ that is called round and deep in studio one. It takes everything out of that area and looks like a giant lower case m. ha ha I EQâd the guitars in that area and dropped to o the supporting guitars for noise reasons. I used a bpm delay as you suggested but canât remember the name on the vox. The female back ground vocals are me. I give my nads a couple of twists for those high ones. Thanks much for you help and have a good day
Very nice, I would only suggest that the main guitar thatâs playing the figure through the song has a little honk to it that might be making the voice sound small in comparison. Probably around 300? A fairly tight notch in that area might help without having to mess with levels. Good job, you make us old guys proud.
Sounds good Mr. F , I think youâre getting much closer to a polished mix. I would do some more tweaks or automation to the lead vocal but thatâs a taste thing really. It would be great to add a different voice to the background vocals, a different color would add a lot I think.
Thank you for the review! Now your song: are you doing all of the vocals? Sometimes I get male falsetto vocals mixed up with female vocals. For a while, I thought some of the vocals in Elton Johnâs âBennie & the Jetsâ were female. For years I thought the Bee-Gees were female singers! The vocals sound quite good! They sound better than the other recordings Iâve heard you do. Holler-back at me if I already havenât told you my two Neil Diamond-related stories. Audio quality is very good. Part of your rhythm guitar reminds me of the Outfield (an 80âs band) at times. Though at times the song has a 60âs vibe. I dig the Beatle-esque bridge. On first listen, I thought the intro could be tighter timing-wise, but later I did not have that impression. Overall, I think this is your best recording and best performances (the individual tracks) that Iâve heard you do. I like the lyrics too. Good job!
Hey Bob Speaking of old guys, I am 70 and keep thinkin Iâm a gonner. ha ha I actually went into that track and manually lowered some of those higher spikes. I did EQ it, but I only know one method. I bend down from about 500 to about 100 on a curve. I will look at a way to make a sharper cut on that honker( I heard it too) Thanks for taking the time bud
Hi guy I see in studio one there Is an automation, but have never used it? Would this be done to get my singing timing better??? I can look it up. I do sometimes take the snap off and drag the vox on a little delay if I get ahead a bit? Do you wanna sing some backing tracks??? I would love that???
Hi Aaron I heard the same thing on that intro. In fact I went back and played it a few times and just shook my head. I think the first part of it is on, but the second is a little early. I can play it over or move it. Good catch. To answer your question, yes I have always done all my vocals, but as of late they are not as good as they used to be. I played in a band for many years and old sung the junk songs and bvgâs. I graduated from hs in 1966, so yes the Beatles I canât shed:)
Iâm really not a singer but thanks for asking! @Stan_Halen and @steban are good singers who would probably like to try this, and there are many others on IRD who I think would be glad to help too.
Automation wonât change timing, itâs mainly for tweaking volume up and down according to a line that you draw. Compression does the same thing but it sounds a bit different. Mixers love to use these and eq more than anything Oh yeah reverb too.
Yeah so with the âsnapâ off you can cut the vox track into pieces big or small and drag them around to change timing if you want.
Hi! I havenât read the other comments, sorry if Iâm not adding anything new her: just commenting as I listen. Also, Iâm not mincing my words since youâve asked to hit hard.
Why the hiss? Are you doing this on purpose to add a vintage feel to the song or is it involuntary? In the latter case, surely there must be a way to get rid of it.
The drums have their own reverb (provided by the plugin itself, Iâm assuming), which sounds really different from the rest of the tracks, resulting in a lack of cohesion. And even though the instruments are well played, the drums sound 100% quantized which adds to this issue as it really doesnât feel like a human being playing. The kick is loud and clear, but I think it is too much for this genre, I would bring it down a bit.
The rhythm guitar on the left is too prominent and could use a bit more compression to tame the peaks and make it sit better in the mix. I would also add a little bit of crunch to it to add more grit to the song and make it more interesting since you have several guitars with a clean sound already. In general the guitars overlap too much because they all have a similar sound (which is probably because itâs the same guitar played by the same guy and recorded with the same gear?), and besides the panning choices, they share a similar space in the mix (frequency range, volume). The arrangement is well thought out since you have one strumming rhythm, one arpeggio and one lead, but in terms of sound I would try to give them their own special space more.
The two voices donât blend well together in my opinion. They sound like theyâve been recorded with different sets of mind. The female vocals sound intimate as if sheâs singing close to the mic and with restraint, while the male vocals sound more blunt, sung louder and farther away from the mic. Why not decide on doubling the vocals only on some parts of the song or maybe alternate male and female, and perhaps harmonizing the choruses rather than singing unison? Also, EQ-wise there are some annoying frequencies that should be cut.
The vocal reverb doesnât sound good, and thereâs a bit too much I think. It makes the lead vocals unclear even though theyâre quite loud. I would place the guitars deeper in the mix and bring the vocals forward.
Iâve only mentioned what didnât work for me but there is also a lot that does work.
Hi there. This might be the best critique I have received. PERFECT I agree on all counts and there are reasons for these shortcomings⌠The first mistake was not to leave the initial track on this post. I thought I would just keep adding the changes. I labeled the post as a demo looking for improvement suggestions. Also I do everything in the song except the EZdrummer.
The vocal hiss is from a plug in delay thangy. It was recommended, but I think I did not do it justice, or just selected the wrong one. When I isolated just the vocal, it did not sound very good, but when in the mix I thought it was ok??
The only thing I did to the EZdrummer drums was applied some compression. I did notice the very first kick sounded reverb heavy, but I did not add any. Oh yes, and I did tame the ride cymbal in the chorus. If need be, I will play the drums myself. I got lazy. For now, I will bring that kick back.
I started off with that stabbing rhythm guitar for the sake of just having a steady timing helper to sing the song. Many times I just let it alone playing as I sing along? It has to be replaced and you are right in that I used my PRS guitar and will switch to my Gibson 335 for a different texture. I can add a little crunch as well. I will try to give more space as well.
As far as the vocals are concerned. I started the song with the first verse and then gave it a few months rest. When I came back to dig in again, you are right, I didnât have the same frame of mind and not even the same mic. I am singing the female voice as well and when isolated it is not pretty Another factor is I have difficulty singing the low A note and holding it. If this song ever got legs, I would farm the singing out. I do like the thought of going back and forth with a true female singer??
I make these songs for fun and I guess even attention at this old age. The truth is, I really donât know what I am doing . A great suggestion is to place the guitars deeper in the mix and bring the vocals forward. I have no clue there. That sounds to me to make the guitars louder and the vox less?
The reverb is one in studio one called cathedral. It comes in with 20 percent wet and I always cut it to 10.
I am glad you did find some things in this track that worked for you and thanks for your absolute honesty. That is the only way I can improve.
About the hiss: weâre probably not referring to the same hissing noise. The hiss I was referring to is especially audible at the very beginning and gradually decreases as the guitars come in. It might just be an unwanted noise coming from your amp or pedals, or amp simulator if thatâs what youâre using. There is probably a compressor somewhere that picks up this low noise and brings it up (just doing its job, really) then when the guitars start it is brought back to an almost inaudible level. An easy fix is to automate the compressor to start working exactly when the first guitar note is played, not before.
I use EZdrummer a lot too, itâs a very good tool when you canât afford the time or money to get a good drummer playing a good kit in a good room, recorded by a good sound engineer with good gear (yeah thatâs a lot of goods, which is why Iâm using it more often than not on my own songs). Even though Iâm not a good drummer myself, I have been very happy with the results I got when playing EZ drummer from an electronic kit and tweaking the midi file after the fact to make me sound like I know what Iâm doing. You might want to give it a try, playing the drums yourself allows you to find the right fills and groove changes that make the song pop, and which you canât do by just selecting pre-recorded loops or drawing the hits with the mouse.
Wow, Iâm impressed you did the female vocals yourself, the trick totally worked on me.
A great suggestion is to place the guitars deeper in the mix and bring the vocals forward. I have no clue there. That sounds to me to make the guitars louder and the vox less?
Of course the volume is one way to do it, but I would wet the guitars with more reverb and make sure they are not taking up too much space in the main frequencies of the vocals. Reverb is the main tool to control how far you set an instrument in your mix, regardless of its volume. @Mixerman explained this very well in his books the art of mixing and the survival guide to a killer record.
Hi there. I took some notes from your reply and changed a few things. I took that delay off all the vocals and used a thing called mix verb that seems much better now. I removed that one droning guitar track with the squawk. I capoâd up to the fifth fret and got some highs in that track, but now that I posted it, I think it is too loud. ha ha I took 3 db off the kick and it still sounds a little loud on that first kick. I cut the first bassline on the first verse to establish a build. I donât know how to use a bus, so I EQ the tracks separately and actually forgot a few. I really struggle with reverb. It always seems to clutter up everything, but I know it is necessary. I have made some changes and I think it sounds a little better, but has a long way to go? It is very nice to have help so thanks once again.
