My try + revision (Moa22)

My try + revision (Moa22)
0

#1

Hi,
a pleasure to work on it. I decided to play a muted/picked e-bass on it. Added a male back vocal too
Tried to keep it as natural as possible. AMAZING song !!!

Posted a revision
.

.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10

0 voters


#2

I think you took out the mids and the highs way too much on the vocals, to the point where they’re a little unintelligible. The de-esser makes it sound like she has a lisp in this mix. I’d definitely tone down the vocal work for sure, the guitar sounds like it’s under control, the noise isn’t as prominent as on other mixes, good job there. I think the drums are too dry given this is supposed to be an ambient track, I’d reverb up the mix if I were you, but I’m not you. I like the verbed out backing vocals though. The piano has some boxy buildup in the low mids too. Really, this is a decent mix.


#3

Hey, really cool, I really enjoy your balance and particularly the last section has this feeling of depth, width and fullness.
I didn’t really notice tracks you added but I suppose you just added those layers to enhance some parts that you thought them need to.

I also agree with CPF about the drum and the lead vocal. I found that one a bit overcompressed at the beginning and it sounds a bit that way.
I wish you add something to end the song with some kinda delay, reverb or whatever because it sounds like the guitar player forgot how to end the song…

Really nice job to me, congrats!


#4

You didn’t notice the e bass, that is pretty cool. Just wanted not to break anything.
The vocal track is an octave down male track (i sang) only during the choruses.
The thing is pretty subtle.
Thx guys


#5

This is a really tasteful mix. I thought the balances were good and that you could actually bring your bass track up some to give it more presence in the mix. I agree too with the reverb, the drums and especially the main vocal could have used some to sweeten them up a little more. Minors things really. Nice job!


#6

Things are sounding balanced and overall Eqed well. I like the bass part, but at times there seems to be some build up in that low mid low range. You could try notching out some 80 to 150 Hz range from the bass or kick to lessen the buildup. I like the low drone vocal part. I think something you could have done is more automating of the vocals. This is something that takes a lot of time but helps with fine tuning the performance not that it was bad, but there are lines, words that need some adjustments .The last thing I noticed was the cymbal glitch track being to hi in the mix .I viewed it more as a low accent part and not as a out front part.

Nice Job!


#7

I liked the reverb effect on the vocal right before the guitar solo!


#8

Happy you noticed that, i wanted a “moved by the wind” effect.


#9

@Jerze Thx. You are right about a slight automation. I did some fader move. But no fader riding in this case. But the only track that is really hardly compressed is the main vocal track, so i though it was enough…


#10


A revision i did, some improvements are in reaction of your critics.

  • more clarity for the ld vocals
  • my vocal track is louder now
  • bass is louder too but with more attack
  • kick is clearer too and drums more affected by the verb.

#11

Not much to fault here Moa, the main vocal treatment is impeccable, although I’m getting a few lispy esses in places. You’ve struck a really nice balance within your elements and the e-bass is a great addition, although it felt a little buried and may have possibly benefited from a bit of saturation to help it cut. I felt the snare could have done with a 3db cut at 180Hz to pull out a bit of that excessive body. Otherwise, a really solid job,


#12

I can see you did a lot of work on the vocals, I absolutely loved that you kept minimal wetness on the vocals but you still kept them wide enough. In my preference for this track the backtrack should create the wetness and vocals should cut through them dry and wide like a wasteland. You accomplished that, Great work!
A bit more slap and resonance on the vocals could be good too.

De-essing could be scaled back a bit.
Vocals are coming across a bit softer, could be the attack
Background vocals after drop chorus and the drop itself is too wet, the harmony notes are not hitting at their sweet spots.

Overall a beautiful, balanced mix that keeps the feeling and message of the song intact!


#13

Nice!!! I like the bass!!! Added to the song really nice!!


#14

I am really liking the bass work you have done. The drums are working well. Listening to the first mix i am not crazy about the vocals as has been mentioned. Other than that nice work.


#15

Hi Moa22

Wonderful mix.
Writing as I listen in 1st post.

Buzz of main guitar slightly annoying in the beggining.
Very nice lead vox. Only a bit muddy I feel. Backround vox sound clearer in fact!
Love the snare sound.
Love the bass (perhaps could be veeeery little louder) and the whole part before and through the solo!
In conclusion top sounds, very well balanced, only minor things for me.

Good luck man!


#16

Writing as I listen to revision.

Night and day…
I voted a 7 for the OP. The revision for me is an 8 could be a 9 with total buzz elimination. :slight_smile:
I love the definition of the bass now. For me it’s what the track needed the most. And your bass track is really working for me.
I can even hear the discreet male vocal (which I had forgotten about in the OP). Nice touch.

Good job!


#18

Thank you, i am happy that the improvement deserve 1 more for you !!!
Have to learn to work better faster. For the buzz, i just don’t have tool for it. Could have notch
something freq, didn’t want to break anything. Just had to be gentle on the comp not to increase the noise level.
Thanx


#19

The only nit-pick is that you were a little too aggressive with the deesser. Otherwise the vocal is just beautiful and everything else is balanced and solid. Nice one!

I think future contests should consider a 2-stage setup and let the finalist do revisions. :slight_smile:


#20

Good idea


#21

Nice revised mix to me, really spot on and really improved.

The little thing I wish now is something like automation some overdrive on the bass track so that it could follow how angry is the song during it and get a bit of crushy sound it could have at times.

Really nice to me, top job!