I was just thinking of you this morning about your finances etc. Good to hear from you.
Yay I caught this one!! 
A fresh sounding sweetie… lovely sentiment and the chorus has some really cool chord twists and turns and now I’m reading the other comments I can’t help but agree with that Beatles suggestion. I’d like more backing vox, but you know me on that haha… I kept imagining yet more oohs and ahhs and just a little more volume to them.
I would like some reverb on your vocal, just to give a sense of place/space and some eq adjustments if you were in a technical mode… grin…
But as a song, yep, tis a sweetie and with a worldwide message.
[o, as an aside… I just noticed that the format has changed for ‘replying’ and I can’t see my message in a separate window… I wonder why that is… ponder ponder]
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Hi Emma from NZ Yes the Beatles. Nobody caught it yet but the entire prechorus is from the Beatles song “If I fell” ha ha Love those chords that go in some crazy places and then back to the root. Ebm D Db Bbm Ebm D Em D I play that song a lot because of that fact. I thought my bgv were louder. I just listened and they are almost non existent? Lots of places to add stuff like the oo’s etc I know.
I usually record without anything on the vox and if anything put on a little delay. I wish I knew what I was doing. As long as I can still bumble along and finish stuff, I well keep a goin.
Stay out of that creek…things can bite you there thanks once again
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Have you ever posted any of your songs on reddit/songwriters? It’s a good place to get objective feedback from other songwriters. I find it inspires me when I post songs on there and listen to others as well.
Hey James No, I do not know of that site. I will check it out. I have plenty of time on my hands being retired to listen to songs and comment. Not that many bashes here per week:) thanks for the link
I get on there too. I actually message some of those guys to come join us! Feel free to do the same!
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It is certainly not a money maker, but I do keep challenging myself to write another. You are the best boss:)
Ahh I went there last night, registered, and then found the site overwhelming. I tried unsuccessfully to unsubscribe. ha ha To a young man, that would be easy. Drooble is even worse. so many people with so many songs:)
Nice work, Paul your music just gets better and better every time I hear it. You are really putting it out there!
Thanks Glen
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Hey Gredd Such kind words. I am trying to keep this songwriting thing going. The only problem is I don’t go back and fix everything because I am usually on to the next song. thanks you so much
Ah! Feaker is back! I knew we’d be hearing more from you!
This is really nice, Paul. I love that “many-things-to-do-chorus.” Very different musical direction than the rest of the song, which emphasizes your message beautifully. Nice 70’s British touch.
Your recording is SO clean. I love that I can hear the breaths in your vocals (I always edit that out! I’m gonna start leaving it in now!), but cannot hear other distracting noises. I like the vocals up front the way you have them. So crisp and intimate. Sounds like you’re right here.
The guitars sound a little tentative in the beginning. Very fragile, sort of. However, I don’t know that I’d change them. I think that adds to the intimacy I’m talking about. However, when you shift into that cool British piece, I’m hearing maybe a departure from that, with a little tighter sound, a little more build (not much though!).
Definitely use the bass more. Just inch up the volume a tad. I think it adds a lot to the song! But I can’t hear it enough, especially on the verses! But the chorus too: they’re “there” but I think bringing them up would add the the energy of the chorus, and add fullness as well.
I might bring the vocals down a touch though, but I don’t know that I’d touch anything with fx on the vocals.
Last, Paul, in the short time I’ve been on this forum (just a few months), I’ve learned to appreciate you as a tender heart with a something to say. There’s a cool verse in Proverbs 15:1 that says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I love that, and that’s you, man! Your music has a wonderful lyrical depth and richness to it, that is enhanced by your gentle, simple, delicate way of delivering it musically. You have a lot to say, a lot to offer, and your music makes a difference, buddy. Thank you! Keep doin’ what yer doin’
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“And another thing…”
Thanks for re-posting your “I’m Very Sad” song. I just noticed you put it back up. Will listen to it and make some comments there later. Again, glad you’re “back”!!
Tesgin
Hi Tes guy:) You offer me many great ideas and things to think about sir. There is no pressure to do music anymore. I am not even thinking if one of my songs are going to be heard in an elevator some day. It is just a blast tho putting a track together (even one as simplistic as this one) I take these comments and put them in a word document to be viewed later. As I read your take on the song, I had it playing in the background and agree totally of your assessment. I just don’t know why I don’t hear these things myself. ha ha
As far as having a tender heart, I think as we get older, we value feelings and the little things that were omitted early on. As far as the other song that I took down, I put it back not looking for comments, just that it wasn’t right to do that in the first place whether the song was good or not, It wasn’t ha ha If this track made a difference to you, that is big to me. thanks a ton
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Keep it up my friend if you are having fun doing that’s all that really matters. Stay tuned I’m going to send something in soon. Got to do it and put something out there! Glen
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I couldn’t help but start singing harmony on the second listen. It was so natural I will probably try to create a mix just for fun, @feaker. I like the song a lot, lyrics are wise and well expressed and need saying nowadays.
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Well, that’s exactly what I did! I hope you don’t mind my mix, Paul, it just happened. I was going for that slowing down easy going vibe that you already had going so well. It was educational for me to do this, it made me pay close attention to its musical structure, of a good song. I added this simple piano line and panned my vocal a little left and lower volume. No reverb/delay effects. Just some thickener and compression.
feaker,
Thank you for your review! Now your song from your original post: it starts out nicely on guitar. The first verse has a good melody. After that (the chorus?) it very much has a Beatles vibe for me (not a bad thing). Vocals are pretty good. Part of me wants to say, “belt it out more”, but the song is rather mellow. Audio quality is good. On second listen, the song worked better for me. On first listen the chorus kind of threw me for a loop. Nice melodies.
Good one Paul. A nice reminder for all of us. Peaceout. 
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