I feel similarly as Evert does about the verse and chorus. I really like the feel of the verse but the chorus seems not as good as the verse. I only listened once but Iāll listen again later to see if I can get any good ideas for the song.
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Typing as Ilisten on headphones.
Really nice guitar sounds. Acoustic DIāed I am assuming. The bass sounds really round and full. Iām tryig to figure out if itās me, my headphones or the mix, but is the bass slightly to the left, like maybe 25%? Not that it matters, but it just felt a little lop sided to the point where I actually thought it was the guitar that was fuller.
Man I LOVE your vocal sound, both vocally and how you produce it. It always sounds even, despite singing softly and then with a few louder words and phrases. And yo uhave this wonderful gentle yet on edge sound that suits your music so well.
From memory, I think you said your vocals have been affected since COVID, no? How has that been going? A permanent change? Whatever the case, your music, lyrics and voice all fit together and Iād happily purchase a release of your stuff.
Personally, Iād love to see this really take off, keeping it minimal liek you have for the minute or so you have supplied here, but then bring in some really resounding strings and cymbal swells, maybe some atmospheric distant, simple drums. I hear it all right as you end this demo. This could be a real heartbreaker!!!
Good stuff.
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Ha ha I tried the quote thing and messed it up again. The first part here is Daniel.
Typing as Ilisten on headphones.
Really nice guitar sounds. Acoustic DIāed I am assuming. The bass sounds really round and full. Iām tryig to figure out if itās me, my headphones or the mix, but is the bass slightly to the left, like maybe 25%? Not that it matters, but it just felt a little lop sided to the point where I actually thought it was the guitar that was fuller.
Man I LOVE your vocal sound, both vocally and how you produce it. It always sounds even, despite singing softly and then with a few louder words and phrases. And yo uhave this wonderful gentle yet on edge sound that suits your music so well.
From memory, I think you said your vocals have been affected since COVID, no? How has that been going? A permanent change? Whatever the case, your music, lyrics and voice all fit together and Iād happily purchase a release of your stuff.
Personally, Iād love to see this really take off, keeping it minimal liek you have for the minute or so you have supplied here, but then bring in some really resounding strings and cymbal swells, maybe some atmospheric distant, simple drums. I hear it all right as you end this demo. This could be a real heartbreaker!!!
Good stuff.
Hi Daniel Yes i have a new Breedlove (suggestion from our own Dave) and the DI makes recording much easier. I finger picked this one and have noticed the timing off a bit.
I checked the bass and it is in the middle. I used a S1 round and deep setting. I takes a bunch off of the 2-400range. You might be hearing a little of the strumming guitar. I have them 100% Land R
Thanks for the vox compliment, but in fact I am not much of a singer. Youth would be better here 
Covid still has an effect on me. It is still hard to breath. My wife and I are double vaxed too??
I went back this morning and got the levels a little better. I see I am now between -12 and 0. Itās a little low. Now to go back and try some things??
thanks for taking so much time on this
Sincerely
Paul
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Hey Paul, I gave it another listen and what struck me this time is that the part that you call the chorus could be used as a prechorus. The momentum feels like itās building when you go into that part but it almost sounds like it needs to shift into a higher gear even further, after that part has ended. Try some high, sustained vocal notes over the same chords and chord pattern you already have for that part. C - G - Am - F. ā¦ā¦but change the feel of that part with the vocal melody and vocal pattern.
Iām trying to load an audio example but for some reason itās not recording. Iām using an iPadā¦ā¦maybe Iāll try to record it through the laptop.
Ok, I had to do it through Audacity because it wouldnāt work using the microphone icon that is supposed to allow the members to share live audio. Hopefully you can make out the melody and the pattern.
Ahh, I think i did the quote thang right. Your point about the now chorus doesnāt seem to be a real chorus. I actually had thought of that. I like the feel of the song you brought for the example. Now to try and erase that from my mind so I donāt do the exact notes the same. 
I think he might have sung that in high G, I can handle that depending on my allergy state.
I tried the example Evert gave, but the B chord was hard to work with.
I messed with the Em then the Dm7 to Em a few times and then back to Fmaj7 last night a bit. Heading upstairs to my bedroom studio and will mess with all this and see what happens.
I hope I can repay you someway for the time you have taken trying to help.
Thanks so much
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The simplicity of Fmaj7 to Cmaj7 keeps it pretty elegant. I wouldnāt change this until the last line of each stanzaā¦
Iād do something like thisā¦ (just an idea)
The (Bbmaj7add13) truth is she (Dm/Bb) is just not (Asus7 no 3rd)
Voiced:
Bbmaj7add13 [ x - 1 - x - 2 - 3 - 3 ] ā¦(pointer, middle, ring, pinky)
Dm/Bb (also Bbmaj7) [ x - 1 (bar) - x - 2 - 3 - 1 ] (bar with pointer, release pinky)
Asus7 no 3rd [ x - 0 ā 2 - 2 - 3 - 4 ]
ā¦gives it some flare, but keeps it melancholy and subtle
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Another suggestion - (like above, change on the words Truth, Just, and You)
The (Abmaj7) Truth is she is (Gaug5+) Just not (G7 -3rd position)
Voiced:
Abmaj7 [ 4 - x - 5 - 5 - 4 - x ] ā¦(pointer, ring, pinky, middle)
Gaug5+ [ 3 - x - 3 - 4 - 4 - x ] ā¦(pointer, middle, ring, pinky)
G7 (p3) [ 3 - x - 3 - 4 - 3 - x ] ā¦(thumb, pointer, ring, middle)
- substituting G7 open position [ 3 - 2 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 1 ] will not work in this context because of voice-leaving principles.
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Hey MrJā¦how you doin by the way. I have been messing with those chords. They will fit perfectly in both examples. I feel like axe 101 tho. Ha ha I might have to strum them individually .
I am retired and should be able to put all the time I want into studio work, but I have many big projects going on. Presently gathering all un-needed scrap metal together. I have almost two tons so far. Hard hot work. I hope you are well. Thanks for the direction tips. I appreciate those who KNOW
No need to repay me, Paul. I just wanted to help you out. I hope my example gave you some ideas. My pleasure to help !
My girlfriend said to me today, āIs that your song that you were playing last night?ā āI like itā.
I told her that I was recording an idea for one of the guys on āthat recording forumā.
Iāll play her your song when sheās not working to get her opinion. Iām pretty sure that sheāll like it. 
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I would be pretty much lost without this site. Hard to find new hobbies at this age.
I came up with some lyrics and a pre-chorus that might slide in there maybe. Gonna try tomorrow morning. Then a new chorus with some punch. Might eventry some drums later on? So many way to go. that is the fun of it. Peace to you and your gal
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I almost never read sheet music anymore (now I am quite rusty with that); and I never was that good at reading sheet music even after 5 years of piano lessons. And I am much better at music theory on keyboards than guitar; I never took guitar lessons. Some chords that sound good on keyboards donāt always sound good on guitar and vice versa. And I was never good at knowing what is a logical chord progression going only by music theory; I just keep experimenting until I hear something I like. Anyway, I like what you have so far! Nice melodies, audio, guitar playing and vocals! None of the Beatles can read sheet music by the way.
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Oh dearā¦
That should have been a B-flat ā¦ No wonder it didnāt work for you. Sorry Paul, my mistake.
I think I like Johnathans ideas as well, but I donāt have a guitar within grabbibg distance. Iāll try later.
Good luck!
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Doin good Not playing a whole lot of music these days or doing recording, but itās nice to chime in threads like this when I can.
Keyād instruments tend to lend themselves to theory better. Not because keyboard based instruments (piano, b3, accordion, xylophone etc) are superior in anyway, but because the mechanical system that triggers pitch intervals is symmetrical. I know my way around a guitar fretboard pretty well, but I donāt even try and conceptualize theory on a guitar fretboard.
Hahaā¦
Thatās actually a playable progression, but maaaaaaybe not for this particular song 
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Reminds me of one of my favourite (early!) Beatles songs: āThings we said todayā. The verse is basically an alternating Am, Em, then the chorus goes to C, Bb, F, Bb and back to Am Em Am. That Bb in the chorus is surprisingly beautiful in itself, but then you get the middel bit where the Am is modulate to an A major: A, D7, B, E7, A, followed by repeat with a big surprise: A, D7, B, Bb, Am . Wow !
Maybe thats an interesting new thread: āChord progressions that just blow you away!ā
Ok, hereās my suggestion for the chorus:
( C )Are you sure weāre (Cmaj7) done you know Iāve (C7)t ried to move (A) on
We(Dm) really had it (Dm7) goin ā¦so what (G7) did we do so (Em)wrong
( C )Are you sure weāre (Cmaj7) done Iām lyin (C7) here itās near (A)dawn
(Dm)Do you still (F) think of me ā¦(Em)where have you (G7)gone ( C )
I worked it out with guitar in hand, like I do most things. 
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Oh Sir Feakā¦your wish is my command,
Pretty close to your melody, with some variation. Excuse the very rough recording - the neighbours have builders in making a HUGE racket (illegally- since weāre officially under lockdown conditions - I might add).
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Hey Paul - glad you like the idea. Iām certain your vocals will be a billion times better than mine. I barely have the stomach to inflict my vocals on my own songs, let alone on someone elseās! Cheers, mate.
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Oh, your modesty almost exceeds your talent. Sing the main line and let Feaks harmonize with you. ( In hockey terminology Feaks would be Feakerās nickname, as in āFeaks saw me open in the slot and got it to me, and I one timed the biscuit in the basketā. ( For Aussies who might not know hockey speak, the translation is Feaker had the puck, and saw me open in front of the net, so he passed it to me and I shot it in one motion and scored).
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As long as Paul doesnāt mind me ruining his songā¦ 
Paul, your singing on the verse is so great, I would be guaranteed to butcher it if I tried.
Ah, cāmon, I just ripped half of it off The Beatlesā āSomethingā and the rest from Gary Mooreās āStill Got the Bluesā 
Anyone could do that!
In any case, Iām glad you liked it.
This is a really sweet song, and that is why I was inspired to contribute.
ā¦ by the way, I love your mix - it sounds great, Paul, and I mean that! I love the slap-back echo you have on your vocal - it is perfect for the song. Despite your strenuous protestations to the contrary, youāre getting very good at this recording and mixing racket! (if I ignore the noise you left at the beginning 
)