Here’s another proof of concept demo for my album… A little ditty cheerfully titled “When I die”… It’s in development, so have at it folks!
Nice song, nice performance, especially the vocals.
I don’t have much to say, the balance is good. I would personally like to hear a little bit more of those drums, the song is quite driven by the guitars and vocals right now.
I like the portion that starts at 3:03 that is a little ethereal. I would have emphasized that even more with a synth pad or more choir-style background vocals, and I wouldn’t mind if it was slightly longer.
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Great song and vibe. Would “die” for that guitar tone. Am retired but haven’t seen the worlds. Love that last chord in the chorus. Bridge is the perfect pause. Perfect song for a bar scene in a movie. Great singing also (ball buster high notes). Nothin to pick up here. congrats
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Thanks!
Ok cool - yeah, I felt that too when I heard it on my little grotbox speakers at work.
Nice idea - Thanks!
Haha - Hey Paul! It’s just my Strat mainly.
I’m sure you’ve seen quite a bit!
That’s a B major (IIRC)
Awesome - I played with the arrangement quite a bit on this.
Bar fight scene? 
Thanks mate! This was all banged down pretty quick with my trusty SM57.
CRS,
Thank you for the review! Now your song: audio quality is very good. The beginning kind of threw me for a loop; then the guitar riffs made more sense to me a little later. On second listen, I was not thrown for a loop. The vocals are well done, especially the lower pitch vocals. Instrumentally, everything is well done. Nice job! I don’t think any of us will be alone when we die. Makes me think of one of my pet topics: near death experiences. I know of a few people that have had them. I could tell the one my wife’s grandmother had (it does not talk about religion) if you wish.
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Nice mate
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Haha, thanks for the comments, Aaron. Ironic as it may seem, the song is actually more a meditation on living than dying. That’s really what I’m all about. 
Thanks Alan!
Overall, it’s great, so anything I suggest is personal preference stuff, but here you go:
I love the propulsion coming from the guitar, but I hear it needing a little more thickness; it definitely has that single coil bite, which is great, but a touch more meat would sound great to me. That would give you a little fatter backdrop for the main voice, which I think is maybe a touch more up front than I hear it for this type of song.
Again, this is personal preference, but this is more of a driven song than I’m used to from you, so maybe I’m imposing expectations that you’ve already considered. Either way it will be great when you’re done.
Hey Bob, thank you - good points.
Going back to @Lophophora 's comments (and collating them with your comments here), I think I may have mixed the lead vocal a little too “large” proportionately compared to the other elements in this demo, so the guitars probably suffer from a lack of sonic space. (I blame having just mixed that David Tyo country song! 
)
In any case, thanks for the pointers - that’s something I’ll keep in mind as I develop the recording further.
Always good to get your feedback, my man! 
(BTW my Strat has single coils in the front and middle position (Texas Specials) and a Seymour Duncan humbucker in the bridge. The front and middle pickups were used for the verses, but the humbucker was used for the chorus. The front pickup was used for the solos.)
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Sounding really good. There is one thing section like in the first line “give you everything you need” and “treat me like a queen” I am just not buying it. I feel like you could come up with a better melody for that. Even if you stayed up until “queen” I think that would be better. This is totally a taste thing but i thought i would share just in case you were second guessing that yourself.
Thanks Eric, I’ll experiment with a few different approaches there and see what wins out. I wasn’t second guessing myself about the melody at all, actually!..that is, at least until you mentioned it just now 
…
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Dang, Andrew, this is nice. You played everything? Vocals are you also, correct?
What did you do for drums?
Anyway, nice playing on all instruments. Great progression. Vocals are nice and fit the song. I like the EQ on the vox and I actually think they sit well. But there are some artifacts on the vox that need to be cleaned up a tad, like some sibilance at 0:40, 2:07, etc. and it sounds like some clipping at 2:14, 3:29, 3:40, 3:52.
The guitars are nicely played but I agree with your comment about sonic space. Not enough separation and they sound maybe muddy – they run together. Maybe it’s more in the low-mids/mids. EQs seem very similar on the guitars too so they don’t separate enough.
One of the things I was blown away with on your Fytakyte project was the detail and clarity and distinctiveness of the different parts. Missing that here. It’s good, but not Fytakyte. 
I hope I don’t offend. Heck, you know SO much more about this than I do. But anyway, that’s my two cents. Or three?
I am very eager for this project to come out!
Nice work, man!
Thanks T! Yup all me and my one-man-band!
What did you do for drums
Steven Slate Drums 5 - Just threw together some stock loops and tweaked a few things.
Anyway, nice playing on all instruments. Great progression. Vocals are nice and fit the song. I like the EQ on the vox and I actually think they sit well. But there are some artifacts on the vox that need to be cleaned up a tad, like some sibilance at 0:40, 2:07, etc. and it sounds like some clipping at 2:14, 3:29, 3:40, 3:52.
The guitars are nicely played but I agree with your comment about sonic space. Not enough separation and they sound maybe muddy – they run together. Maybe it’s more in the low-mids/mids. EQs seem very similar on the guitars too so they don’t separate enough.
One of the things I was blown away with on your Fytakyte project was the detail and clarity and distinctiveness of the different parts. Missing that here. It’s good, but not Fytakyte.
Thanks - wow that’s a pretty comprehensive critique of the mix! I definitely agree that it’s not up to release standard.
As I said in the OP, this is a ‘proof of concept’ demo, mainly thrown together quickly in a kind of “modular” fashion, where I experimented extensively with the arrangement before settling on something I felt approached being listen-worthy.
The final version will probably mostly be re-recorded from the ground up, then re-mixed for release. I just wanted to iron out any glaring arrangement or song issues and have the arrangement basically set before I move on to recording the live drums… So that is the main reason for getting it bashed here.
I am very eager for this project to come out!
Nice work, man!
Thanks Tesgin - Please don’t hold your breath, though - I tend to work at a glacial pace!
My bad. I didn’t understand that. Sorry about that. I guess I was a bit over-the-top then. Well, it’s your fault too, cuz this doesn’t sound like a draft to me! 
It’s that good. I should’ve known. My apologies.
So, then let me say this. I love the guitar work and the chord progression. Absolutely love the change-up at 1:40. The last chord of the chorus going into that sounds funny somehow, but I love the change there. Gives it a polished “classic” sound. Reminds me of the Beatles somehow. Love the vocals and the chords at 2:13. Great transition into the lead, which hits the spot.
The softer chorus at 3:00 works nicely too. Harmonies are sweet and blend nicely. Ending is nice. Yeah, this is gonna be sweet when it’s finished. Nice form. Nice arrangement.
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No worries at all! At least I know now that all that extra time I spend on my “real” mixes does actually make a difference I always second guess myself when all the internet experts highly tout “mixing as quickly as possible” - It simply doesn’t work for me, and your critique is proof!
So, then let me say this. I love the guitar work and the chord progression. Absolutely love the change-up at 1:40. The last chord of the chorus going into that sounds funny somehow, but I love the change there. Gives it a polished “classic” sound. Reminds me of the Beatles somehow. Love the vocals and the chords at 2:13. Great transition into the lead, which hits the spot.
The softer chorus at 3:00 works nicely too. Harmonies are sweet and blend nicely. Ending is nice. Yeah, this is gonna be sweet when it’s finished. Nice form. Nice arrangement.
Cool…Good to know. As I said, I worked on the arrangement quite extensively. Sometimes I get surprised by the things that work and those that don’t. I really wanted to tinker with the traditional verse/chorus/bridge and create something that sticks fairly closely to it, but also gives it some twists that play with the listener’s expectations… Fun!
Hi Andrew, so cool to hear a new one from you! And it’s a beauty… such a cool arrangement, love the progressions and the weaving of concepts and constructs… the here-and-now where-and-when shifts.
Fab guitar work, had a real purple haze moment at 1.46, more like an allusion that was very lovely.
You’ve said it’s still in concept mode so I won’t seek the details, I did find some freq harshness with vox interactions but love the gritty sense coming through, some gorgeous soaring vocals that catch the heart in a great way. Yay… more please!
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Thanks Emma!
Haha… yes now that you mention it, that is totally Purple Haze! Actually the verse chords are exactly Purple Haze! (E7#9 to G5 to A5)…so much so, that I had to really consciously with the verse rhythms a totally different feel to disguise that fact! The lead guitar work was really thrown down quickly - first take stuff… There are some good ideas there, but it’s definitely not my finest hour by a long shot - pretty pedestrian, really - I’d like to get those lead parts to be a little more memorable and tuneful, rather than just fairly generic bluesy wailing.
Good to know it’s working ok in concept. Thanks for listening and commenting - much appreciated!
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I generally like the mix. The vocals are great. The drums seem underwhelming given the energy of the song.