Waiting Forever- baroque rock

Bash This Recording
#1

I’ve been preoccupied lately with dogs, dentists and Easter bunnies, that sort of stuff, definitely not keeping up with IRD and BTR, but I promise to get caught up in the next week or so.

But meanwhile I wrote this song this week, noodling on the keyboard with UJAM Carbon virtual guitar.

I’d started a couple other song ideas, but they didn’t do anything for me. I actually have begun a collab with Google’s AI Bard (my first AI interaction), which is more complex a project (a prog pop rock song with intro/verse/chorus /middle 8/bridge/ending) and a chord progression. It suggested C/Am/G/F (it can’t make the sounds, just writes text), and I am working on fleshing that out.

But this one manifested from the sound, the harmonics, and the horns and strings, again, the intermingling tones, and the words were based on the working title, and yet they seem to be a good fit. It is a long song, kind of slow, and oddly like the experience of waiting a long time, so I think that was a fortunate coincidence.

This is pretty much a first take vocal with a few notes pitch corrected, it might add a live feel. What do you think?

Waiting Forever by Steve Bancroft

I’m getting pretty old
And the world keeps spinning round
Some things I once hoped for
Stay lost and never found

And yet tomorrow could be the day
That everything will change
Into what was hoped or something else
Both beautiful and strange

For yesterday has passed us by
We made our choices, paid the price
We settled for some free advice
And now we only wonder why

If the past is truth enshrined
If we remember with an honest mind
Today is when we must decide
And from the past we cannot hide

It isn’t now or never
We’re just waiting, waiting forever
And what’s to be will be

We might think we’re pretty clever
Just about to get the answer
But we’ll be waiting for forever, you see

Everybody’s got a predilection
Wanting to make a prediction
It’s part of the human affliction
Alas, there are things you cannot know

Such as where will we be tomorrow
Will we avoid pain or sorrow
You can beg, you can steal, even borrow
But a good guess is the best way to go

It isn’t now or never
We’re just waiting, waiting forever
And what’s to be will be

We might think we’re pretty clever
Just about to get the answer
But we’ll be waiting for forever, you see

If I could only be here this time tomorrow
I would do everything I could within my powers
To be with you then free of all pain and sorrow
And the future we dream of will finally be ours
And the future we dream of will finally be ours

2 Likes
#2

This sounds like progressive rock to me @steban and well done. The vocals are good but they do need polishing IMHO.

You have silence from 3:50 to 4:05, I don’t think that works.

Plenty of room for more orchestration in this tune.

1 Like
#3

There’s some interesting stuff going on here, I like the intertwining horn and string melodies, and you’re right, the vocal seems to fit pretty well.
The big thing for me is the arrangement. For a song of this length it still oddly feels quite rushed, and I think this is being primarily driven by the vocals which really don’t take a breath right up until that weird cut to silence.
There’s no signal to the listener to help distinguish that you’ve shifted from a verse to a chorus, and back again. It just feels like a sprint to the finish line with no real differentiation between sections.
The intro seemed very drawn out as well, which is fine if you’re aiming for a 12 minute prog epic (yes @ingolee nailed it, definitely prog rock), but a song this length I think you need to be a bit more concise.
I really like that 8 bar hook section in the intro starting from 0:32 to 1:04, and I think you could have capitalized on that to really give the listener a bit more ear candy and add momentum to the song.
I had a bit of a play around with the arrangement to try and demonstrate how breaking up those vocals a bit more adds variation, and gives a bit of definition to the parts. I just threw a simple 2 part guitar harmony in there (using that 8-bar section I mentioned above) , but you could use any instrument really, just to help elevate the hook.
You’ve got a good starting point but just needs a bit more refinement I reckon.

1 Like
#4

I think it is a good start on a good theme.
I do agree that the arrangement needs some tweaking. I’d suggest cutting down the number of verses to only what is essential to getting your idea across and getting more definition in the chorus to set it apart more from the verses. It could be as simple as adding a harmony voice.
I also (of course) hear a screaming David Gilmour guitar solo in there somewhere.
Good start on the composition, keep it going.

#5

Thanks for the great ears, all! I just got back from the dentist so will keep it short here, and maybe not fiddle with anything today. But quickly, the long silence explained- the concept of waiting forever at times feels like you’re near the end, and you think you are, but after a significant break, you realize you are not at the end. I was attempting to make the listener feel it was the end, and just before you reach to turn it off it quietly starts back up. However, I think now if it were 5 seconds long it would have the same impact.

And Terry, your guitar riff is very good for that section. I’d like more of that! That and some more orchestration would be extra cool, and I think I could add a harmony vocal on the chorus and maybe move the second chorus ahead a few seconds, seems too early to me now.

Anyway, that’s all for now, I’m crashing!

#6

Hey Terry, here’s a semi-final version using your guitar rifs on top of some other corrections and additions.

By shortening the silent break in the middle and the fadeout at the end I was able to shave 24 seconds off the song. And I think your first rif worked very well in the long instrumental opening, and the second rif worked well to fill in the lyric phrasing gaps in the first half of the song.

I thank you and @ingolee and @StylesBitchley for advice about making the song more varied verse to chorus and some tuning issues, but now I think it is better. I get a side effect effect pasting Terry’s guitar in the way I did, but I’m OK with it.

Thanks for the advice all!

1 Like
#7

Good one Steban, glad to be of some small help, and sorry for being so slow with the reply. Been pretty slammed with the day-job.
Here’s those separate guitars if that helps.
Cheers mate.

#8

Thanks, dude! I’m sure they will. I’ll post the new mix when I’m done.

1 Like
#9

Great words from an experienced man.
Words of wisdom!
A good story telling, Your singing is quite captivating.
Very well done, my friend!

#10

steban,
Thank you for the reviews! Now your song: I like the brassy synth(s). Your vocals remind me of Roger Waters once again (a compliment). The lyrics are a bit sad, though it matches the mood of the instrumentals. The virtual guitar has an interesting sound. I think it’s a good song. :slight_smile: