Hey Dave, great to hear some more of your work! I LOVE this song. As you’ve observed, the original is a masterpiece of minimalism and restraint, with the centrepiece being Matha Davis’ incredible vocal performance.
I think you’ve done a great job here. Cynthia has nailed the vocal performance! Really nice!
Musically, you have all the parts in place, and the mix sounds good. I don’t know how far you want to take this, but there are a few crucial nuances that make a big difference in this track. You may probably be happy to just leave it as is, as this is pretty picky stuff:
Tightness - they rhythm guitar is flamming with the snare drum. Part of the feel of the original is the super-tightness of the parts - they are all hitting together as tightly as is humanly possible.
The bass pattern. While the bass is muted, there is a subtle length to the bass notes when they hit with the kick drum that is shortened/cut off in your version. (If you watch a live performance of the band, the bassist actually plays those parts by hitting the body of the bass!) That tiny difference of a few milliseconds held on those bass notes makes a HUGE difference to the flow of the groove - it becomes more propulsive, and less “stop/start/stop”
Very nice rendering of the sax solo on the guitar. The original solo is so tasty - its to die for!
I have a few suggestions to improve the tone. Try rolling down the tone knob on your guitar itself to get more of a “woman tone” (nod to Mr Clapton)… more saxophone-like. The top end on treble on the guitar is a bit unpleasant and “buzzy”. With the delays, try a darker sounding delay, and make sure the delay is after the amp. If the delay is before the amp (as in a pedal delay), you get crossover distortion happening in the amp itself, and the amp distortion compresses the delay as well - it gets pretty messy.
As I said, the vocals sound excellent. Take a listen to the original. They have this very subtle plate/chamber(?) reverb on them that is very dark, and very pre-delayed… I’m guessing 80-150ms. If you don’t really listen for it, the vocal ostensibly sounds “dry”. But it is super-subtle, and it just makes the vocal sound gorgeous, and all the more intimate and confessional.
As I said, you should be very happy with what you and Cynthia have done here… but if you are compelled to “go the extra mile”, then there are a few points I would suggest looking at.