This weeks song...rock..ashamed..our veterans

It is very sad what is happening to our veterans. The lyrics could be better, but I try to get things to rhyme.
I am wondering about the toms I have in a few spots. This might be the cleanest track so far. Tougher if it a rock song. I think I might be the only one here that does that genre? Your take on this track would be appreciated.

ashamed

See the ragged man walk by…they said look out…we think he’s high

Some folks looked the other way…as tears ran down his eyes

We are nasty …with no compassion…we are ignorant of what he’s been thru

It’s despicable…it’s disgusting…

had they asked… they’d find what he’s been through for me and you

We are guilty we’ve abandoned …men who’ve kept us free

Pretending it is all behind us….surely not to do with me

next time…take your privileged self…with a burger and fries for him

Let him talk about his life…he might just get under …your skin

lame excuses…really useless…there’s to many a…buses

We must change things…we must try…you never should see a veteran cry

Bridge

JUST STOP…and do a little soul searchin…

think about his heart and how it’s been achin

JUST STOP…and think what he’s seen

People killin people haunting him in his dreams

We are nasty …with no compassion…we are ignorant of what he’s been thru

It’s despicable…it’s disgusting…

had they asked… they’d find what he’s been through for me and you

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It sounds very crisp, is there a bass guitar in there? I can’t really hear one or is it playing along with the guitar?

[quote=“WeGotLost, post:2, topic:6378, full:true”
It sounds very crisp, is there a bass guitar in there? I can’t really hear one or is it playing along with the guitar?

Hi James My ears are shot so thank you for noticing the low bass track. I do use a plugin that is called “round and deep” that cuts deeply in the 200 range. For some reason I believe that it interferes with the vocal??
I don’t usually EQ the guitars, but they sounded muddy so I clipped off some of the lows. It could be why you are hearing the crispness you referred to.
I use headphones on the final mix as well and the song sounded a little bass heavy?? I will check on both. Very easy repair and I might try a regular bass EQ as well. thanks for your ears

yeah just checked and the bass is in fact is playing with the guitars for much of the track…

This is great Paul! I really like the vibe of the music, and the grit and tension in your voice.

Yes, very timely with Veteran’s Day this Friday. There’s lots to talk about there! Especially on a song like this, the meaning and relevance and emotional tone of the lyrics are more important than nailing the rhyming aspects, and I didn’t notice anything being an issue.

I think they work really well for the song, great emphasis in spots! My main critique on them is that toms usually need some good EQ sculpting to stand out. Yours are a little tubby in the low end which muddles them together a bit. Easily fixed with EQ and maybe compression. From what I can tell you have a good stereo spread on them. There might some timing issues in the toms too, but it’s hard to tell with the sound of them muddled together (to some degree). IMO, tom fills deserve a lot of timing attention. I assume this is a MIDI track in your drum VSTi?

BTW, veterans not only get sidelined in our culture, they frequently face the reality of being sent to war for the sake of politics (and even darker motives). When they discover that, it can be quite disillusioning. I’d highly recommend this Marine’s story:
.

Hi Stan I figured you would like this tribute. I should have read some on this topic to come up with more powerful lyrics. Easy to fix if I get some ideas.
I will take those toms and put them on a different track and use your recommendations for a better sound. They certainly aren’t clear. I use the drums in studio one because my EZ drummer takes forever to load. I had hoped to get another forum member to sing this with more feeling in the vocal.
Yes, i just saw this on the calendar coming up and took off with the idea. It really saddens me to think how war has ruined so many. I can’t even imagine. thanks for your thoughts again Stan…you be da man

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It sounds great Paul. how is your heart doing now days? You on blood thinners after the surgery?

[quote=“WeGotLost, post:6, topic:6378, full:true”]
It sounds great Paul. how is your heart doing now days? You on blood thinners after the surgery?
Hi Glad you liked the track. I enjoyed the ride and the mental challenge of lyrics with a visual.
Yes, I am on a daily 81mg aspirin and two cholesterol lowering LDL drugs. No biggie. My pacemaker only kicks in at night a few times when my pulse goes under 50. No biggie again. Battery has 9 years life left. I am lucky and thanks for asking.

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