Hey guys, you’ve made a great start. I pick up a major early Brian Eno vibe here, circa Here Come the Warm Jets and Before and After Science. Couple things get my attention here.
First, I recognize that you’re going for a non-standard, unconventional melody line for the main “Planet of beautiful people” phrase, but it’s not working for me, one or maybe two of those notes are sufficiently different from the backing chord that it rings my “dissonance” alarm bell-- just a wee bit too zesty.
Second, it’s basically the same four chords repeated for almost five minutes, and it got repetitive to me after a while. Again, I understand that this is likely a very deliberate choice for reasons to do with supporting your overall visions. But there could be some more stuff worked in there to hold interest, such as less robotic drumming and a bit more going on with the bass (Eno’s stuff is a great example of that), let it take a larger role in the ensemble.
Had one listen on my MD7506 cans and spot-checked a few spots afterward, and overall the mix and blend of instruments is in good shape. There are a few spots where the short delay on the lead vox makes some mouth-click noise somewhat noticeable, might need some surgery there (or probably easier to just retrack those bits).
Looking forward to seeing where you go with this… hope this helps!