Looking for some ideas on this one. I like the arrangement, but it will have a real drum track soon. Just trying to figure out if it is in the ballpark before final production. The mix is basically faders and effects so far. Andrew will probably add his input down the line, so let us all know where this might need to go.
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Cool song. You have a voice that reminds me of Joe Walsh.
I would’ve liked to hear a slightly longer intro before the vocals came in. The outro seemed too short to my ears also. For the ending I would have liked to hear some sparse jamming with the drum groove you going on and some guitar licks that become less and less active. The spaciousness of that ending bit is nice, so I think a sparse but moderately grooving ending would do the ending justice…Maybe fade it out with a jam. You seemed to be headed in that direction already but then the end came abruptly before I was ready for it to end.
Thanks for the input. I did try to keep the song down to a reasonable time limit, but it would be fun to jam it out a bit more. When the real drum track gets worked on I might give that a try.
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Thank you for checking out my music! Now your song: your vocals reminded me of Joe Walsh more than anyone else. I think this song was good all around, though overall, I like your song that was a tribute to your father a bit better. The singing & instrumentals are good in this song also. Though I think the drums sound a bit stronger at times on this song. Cheers!
Hi Bob good stuff. I hear Chicago again except for the brass. You can sing man very convincing, and high for sure. Pretty cool start with the vox, bass and drums doing the work. Great lead break and accents all the way through. The guitars are hot but not piercing. Good bite. I can’t do that…ha ha
I spent three hours last night trying to put a 14 second lead break in a new track in E minor and when I came down from the studio my wife said said four words…give it up hon…
Just for curiosity sake, how long ago was this track produced? I personally wouldn’t do anything to this.
I envy you and Andrew big time for your chops. congrats
Thanks, Paul. I wrote this one a couple of months ago, and worked out the arrangement for a while before recording it. It’s about the frustration of our political divide.
Sometimes a 14 second guitar break takes a long time to get right. I’m more than happy to help if you ever want a guest in one of your songs. I take direction well, and sometimes fresh input helps get you over the hump.
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I have to confess that lately I have been listening to the vocal, but not the lyrics. I don’t know why. Seem to enjoy the flow more. Or maybe it is because i can’t keep track of two things at a time. ha ha
I have a new thing with my wife now. When we are in the car and I am negotiating , say a left turn at a light, I don’t talk and simply concentrate. She now knows when there is silence, I am focused. ha ha
I just placed a spoken like part in this new song, but it isn’t good. I will put up the demo in the next few days and maybe you could listen. I hang in that Em for that durantion…why?..I could change to more friendly chords there to make a lead easier.
I am so glad you just wrote this. I feared so many here are only relying on archived stuff. Glad you spoke of the divide. I thought I was thieonly one doing controversial stuff.
Pretty excited about the offer. Had a great experience with Dave, Emma, and Michelle so far. take care
I think collaboration is a big part of making this site successful. We should be sharing our talents and making recordings of the site’s greatest hits, kind of like what you and I probably used to buy at truck stops.
K-Tel Records Presents: IRD Hotwax.
It could be a modern version of Slim Whitman and Boxcar Willie. You would see it on display next to the big jar of pickled pig’s feet.
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I just realised I re-instated your OP on BTR, then forgot to drop a comment - My apologies. I think it might have been because we exchanged a few messages about it back and forth while you producing the song … I mistook that for having actually commented here!
The more I hear this track, the more it grows on me. TBH, I wasn’t super-keen on the original draft you sent me via pm, but now that you’ve worked on it some more, I can hear your vision much clearer.
The themes and melodic ideas are really succinct now. I like the way you haven’t bludgeoned us by repeating the chorus many times… but it is so catchy that you only need to hear it once to want to hear it again… There’s a lesson to be learned there: “Leave the audience wanting more”, as they say!
I think the secret to truly great song production is managing expectation… creating anticipation for the next section or part, but then sometimes defying expectation and delaying the payoff for a greater impact.
It really feels like you have this kind of idea going on here. It feels adventurous, but ultimately I think arrangements like this have more longevity. I know when catchy songs deviate from the expectations, it almost makes me feel like I am listening to a different version each time I hear it… that is a real production “sleight of hand” that is worth pursuing!
All that said, my suggestion for the ending involves injecting some repetition! 
I was going to try to describe it, but I thought it easiest to just stitch the idea together from the file you posted. Obviously, the vocal sustain gets repeated as well, but that would not happen in a real, played arrangement - just the instrumental section. Some tasty improvised leads over the top might be the icing on the cake…
…whaddayathink?
That might work; let me wrap my ears around it for a little while, I’m getting some ideas.
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After just listening to Lakeview Drive, I confess I liked it more. Not to say this is not really good, Bob, because it is. It is good enough to feel like it is still missing a dimension that would make it transcend into greatness. Dust and Bones implies some tragedy or ending, but it doesn’t have any sadness or regret musically/emotionally. What am I suggesting? Maybe you will feel that as it is such a new concept, maybe you will hear that torment and figure out how to include it into the story where it absolutely needs to go.