New Electro-Pop Song "This (ain't) Love" A Work In Progress

Bash This Recording
#1

What do you do when you’ve got a busted hand, can’t work, and can’t even play the guitar?
Dust off the ol’ DAW, set a few songwriting parameters and attempt to write a ‘commercial’ pop tune of course.
My biggest constraint being trying to keep the tune under the sub 3 minute mark, which is a tricky prospect when you’re used to writing rambling 6 minute rock numbers, and the second biggest hurdle is trying to keep the tune modern, and contemporary, and to that end I think I failed in my quest, as I tended to slip back into a more retro feel through the course of the writing process into a dark synthwave feel, with hints of slightly more up-tempo vaporwave.
I’m working with a female songwriter on Fiverr and she’s writing lyrics and helping me work on the melodies and vocals, so hopefully I can still convey a more ‘mainstream’ vibe to the final product through the vocal performance, but it doesn’t really matter either way, still a fun project to stave off the depression of being injured.

As of yet un named electro-pop tune

Latest version which is getting closer composition-wise. A bit more layering as well as an overall bpm bump from 144 to 148 which had the two-fold effect of eliminating a bit of drag through the ‘4 on the floor’ pre-chorus sections, in addition to moving a bit further toward the the magic 3 minute threshold.

UPDATE:
Finally got some vocals in for the new track. Still very early days as far as the writing goes, but lots of inspiration to draw from, I think she’s done a fantastic job.

Rough Vocal Demo (chorus Idea)

Full Vocal Demo (unmixed)

Your love pulls me in taking me for a ride
You don’t know much it hurts, it’s burning me inside
This love
This love
This love
This love
That drives me crazy
I just want to get out
But I can’t escape
When I feel like far away
You scream after me “wait”
And then I turn around
You can take me on another round
I’m spinning and spinning and spinning out of control
I feel like falling, but you yell at me to hold on
To hold on
To hold on
I just want to go home
This love
This love
This love
This love
That drives me crazy
I just want to get out
But I can’t escape
When I feel like far away
You scream after me “wait”
You pull the chains tighter on me
Making sure I know I’m not free
(Aah)
I can’t break the hold

1 Like
#2

I think it sounds really good. I just think it might need a different mix or more layering to make it sound bigger. The vibe and general sounds are good though.

2 Likes
#3

This could work just fine without lyrics to my ear, I hear things I like. So many pop vocalists are musically mediocre I’d be careful what I would add to it. But then that’s kind of the point of pop music right?

1 Like
#4

Yep fair call man, I probably should have mentioned in the OP I’m still in the creation phase so apart from a rough balance I haven’t even thought about mixing, in fact if the vocals work out I may possibly even outsource the mix to an engineer better suited to the genre. 100% agreement on the layering, and I’ve actually done a bit more in that regard since I posted the original take. Definitely still a work in progress, but am making a conscious effort to fill out space to help achieve a ‘fuller’ sound.
Thanks for the feedback mate.

#5

Believe it or not, I was extremely conscious of this fact when sifting through page upon page of female vocalists, because I knew in my head not only exactly how her voice needed to sound, but also her overall aesthetic when it came to the songwriting approach.
You’re absolutely correct though, with the wrong choice of vocalist the track could easily become just another cookie cutter, mundane snooze fest.
I’m really happy with the girl I chose in the end, and the demo she sent has really got me excited to see where she takes it. She has a very alternative approach which is steering this number further and further away from a traditional ‘pop’ tune, into something a lot more interesting.
Here’s some of her tunes here, I just love that sultry vocal tone.

#6

She’s got a good concept and sound. It’s definitely not old school, sounds like Billie Eilish somewhat I think, can’t go wrong with that. So you can be just enough mainstream to be accessible but find your own thing.

1 Like
#7

Yeah she does actually.
She’s really come through with the full vocal, it’s taken the tune to a new level.

2 Likes
#8

Very well done, very professional, all the elements are here and it’s likeable. I do think more could be done via mix and production to make this more dramatic and enticing. Right now it stakes out a nice place sonically but it doesn’t really move from there, to my ear anyway. I don’t have the chops to be more specific and it’s all subjective anyway but that’s my feeling here. Good work though!

1 Like
#9

Yeah man, absolutely. I’d call this production only around 75% done. The “mix” above is just what i had done up till this point with her rough vocal demo vocal slapped over the top, so quite a ways to go yet.
Now that I have all the vocal melodies I can start sculpting the instrumentation around them and really make it shine.
Cheers man.

#10

You’re only at 3 minutes, you could consider bringing in some contrasting stuff, maybe some spoken word with space echoes? (Don’t call it rap.)

1 Like
#11

Yep, and that was one of the big constraints that I put upon myself from the outset. I really wanted to keep it at a ‘commercial’ length, for no other reason than if it works out I’m gonna shop it around a bit, and i just know if i start adding new sections it’s gonna end up at 5 minutes in a flash.
The spoken word thing is a great idea for sure, but trying to do something like that in a 30 second-ish window, I dunno man.

#12

This is your tune and you know best, you’ve brought it this far so take this with a grain of whatever.

Google says the average length of a pop song in 2024 is 3:30 so that means there’s a bunch that are longer. Thirty seconds in a pop song is forever, you could easily add a couple of bridge/interlude/etc things and still be very close on that.

I’m just wondering if your lyricist has some other ideas/assets that she might want to bring to the table. I’m thinking of the ‘R’ word here. You say you want to promote. Why exclude a half billion potential listeners? 400 million people listened to hip hop world wide last year. Yeah well maybe not all of them liked it? :laughing:

1 Like
#13

Like I say, I’m always open to ideas and suggestions, and I’m definitely not averse to looking at throwing a rap vocal in there.
Time is really my biggest concern, because i wouldn’t want a new section to just feel shoe-horned in like an afterthought that was tacked on. I believe 3:30 is really pushing it for an unknown artist and that’s kind of where I’d need to be if i were adding a new section, and 4 minutes you’d need something fairly spectacular. For an established artist 4 or even 5 minutes isn’t out of the realms of possibility, but I think I’d be pushing my luck going too far past 3:30 to be honest.
Once I start re-writing parts to fit the vocal melodies I’ll definitely be mindful of where this type of section may work. You never know what sort of inspiration may hit once you’re actually in the session writing.
Thanks for the ideas, I really appreciate the input.

1 Like
#14

This is kind of what I was thinking. It really feels great but there is a narrowness about it somehow, I keep turning it up louder as if I can’t seem to hear it clear enough. Okay, just listening now to the updated first song, definitely clearer and bigger for sure. Vocals are awesome, this good stuff, love it.

1 Like
#15

Kind of just posting work in progress snapshots, so don’t be too critical if the mix sounds dodgy or appears half finished…it is.
After doing all the vocal editing I managed to drag everything into the session, and it become evident that many of the chord progressions in the original iteration simply weren’t compatible with the new vocal melodies, so I’m pretty much starting afresh, apart from the basic scratch beat I had in place and a few arppeggios and assorted textures.
So have written all new synth chords to better fit the vocal, and I think it’s all sitting together pretty sweet, but an outside ear is always welcome, some of the chords got a bit fancy in the outro, and i wonder are they too much?

#16

Your basic structure seems fine to my ear. It’s hard to comment beyond that since it’s a work in progress. Your main synth sound runs through the whole thing, I guess you’ll vary that etc. Outro doesn’t seem too ‘fancy’.

1 Like
#17

Made a fairly big leap forward with the new tune. Not quite there yet but most of the main elements are in place now.
Just drums/percussion, some vocal ideas I want to try and a sprinkling of ear candy to go and it should be getting fairly close.
Not too interested in the mix at this stage (and if the song works out I’ll outsource that anyway) as I’m still doing the final touches on the writing, but definitely open to critiques regarding all aspects.
Cheers.

1 Like
#18

Hi I somehow missed all of this. I went back and listened to the stages. You really have a good feel for putting tracks together.
The young lady sucks you in right off the bat. Lots of elements working in there for sure. I aways want to hear a clear vocal and I do understand how difficult that is when the track should be building from the intro. I lost vocal clarity at about 20 seconds. I know I should not be commenting on unfinished songs. It is easy to just say it is a very good track. I’m sure you are on every aspect of this. Good luck and thanks much for what you did for me.

1 Like
#19

Lots of ear candy here Terry I think you have an attractive arrangement behind an attractive vocal line which is important. For myself I’m wanting more flowing layered sounds behind this vocalist and less busyness. She’s got a lot going on in that vocal and you don’t want to get in the way of it I would think. Of course that could easily be accomplished in the final mix but that’s my suggestion FWIW.

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#20

Yep 100%, I’m trying to be very mindful of the vocal, and how specifically lead parts can start interfering, and there are definitely some loose ends, especially in the transitions that are cluttering things up and getting the in way a bit. Really just a matter of trimming fat and trying to add sweeteners, but I’m gonna have to sit on it for a few days and reset the brain I think.