Here’s a new demo I’ve just finished. I probably went a bit too far detailed for a demo, but that’s what happens sometimes. I’ll put the lyrics below. Thanks in advance for listening and commenting!
Thousand Yard Stare
I walk in a room; The din is a roar
So many conversations, so little communication
It takes me some time to catch me an eye
He’s fixing his gaze upon me, but his focus is way beyond me
Is there some place you have to go?
(Why won’t you look me in the eye?)
Is there some one that I should know
It’s not that I’m dumb, or boring or dull
Its just that I’m not connected - potential is not detected
He’s looking for something to say to extricate himself again
A clever line to back away from this dead end
Should I really care ‘bout a thousand yard stare?
It happens all the time to me, my company is interest free
You think I’m not aware of your thousand yard stare
I’m not of any use to you, so you will only see me through
A thousand yard stare
A thousand yard stare
Your hungry eyes are looking for an opportunity
You never give the time of day to nobodies like me
Oh how you’ve got it coming, when you’re on your way down
You’ll wish that you took much more care
With your thousand yard stare
Your thousand yard stare
Are you at all aware of your thousand yard stare?
You’re here but still so far away, now it’s second nature, here to stay
Yeah you should really care ‘bout your thousand yard stare
‘Cause we are only here for you, but you can’t help but see us through
A thousand yard stare
A thousand yard stare
I really like this line. Spikes my curiosity. Your songs are so much more intellectual than mine. Mine are way to predictable.
Great intro and then your soft vocal. Simple and very effective. Perfect harmony volumes. This mix is really good. I can hear everything. That chord at the “thousand yard stare” is unusual, but I love it.
I can’t think of much more to say. One of your best I would say. Only thing is the possibility of getting your “thousand yard stare” in earlier and then pound that.
glad you have been “at it”
Take care
Paul
[quote=“feaker, post:4, topic:6771”]
I really like this line. Spikes my curiosity. Your songs are so much more intellectual than mine. Mine are way to predictable.[/quote]
Haha, I don’t know about that… makes me sound kind of pretentious … I hope not!
Great intro and then your soft vocal. Simple and very effective. Perfect harmony volumes. This mix is really good. I can hear everything. That chord at the “thousand yard stare” is unusual, but I love it.
Thanks, that’s good to know! (There is zero tuning on the background harmonies, btw) That riff is so dead simple, it’s almost criminal! It’s basically a “C” chord arpeggiating the the top four strings while sliding the “C” shape up two frets, and then back down again. Simples
I can’t think of much more to say. One of your best I would say.
Thank you! My wife absolutely LOVES this song. I wasn’t sure if it was any good, but she is adamant about it being her favourite.
Only thing is the possibility of getting your “thousand yard stare” in earlier and then pound that.
Yes, I originally did that, but my wife gave me some input on the arrangement, and she reckons it’s better to wait for the chorus…
This is a really great composition, and everything is played perfectly. Definitely crosses lots of genres along the way. Great job on the harmony vocals, they add a lot of feel to the song. I also love your trademark jolt in the chorus, it may be a simple chord change, but the effect it has is huge. Definitely one of your best.
knowing you Andrew, this is likely 100 hours in
No value I can add to the mix of the backtrack. It is immaculate! The bassline is tight and stellar.
The lead vocals is where I notice a bit of looseness. The lead vocal isnt blending in just a tad bit. But not by much. I think a bit of EQ, color and tuning could do it.
Things are going okay. Been revamping a couple of Deryle’s (singer) songs, but not much writing on my part. I need to get motivated and play all these guitars I thought I needed. Hope you are doing well.
Wow man, that’s some really clever songwriting going on there. I love first off those 2-part verses, the 2nd part are almost like a little mini choruses all on their own. And the fact that you choose to go 2 times around with the verses before launching into the chorus was a nice move. The verses were satisfying enough on their own, but the chorus takes it to another level.
Kinda felt like a mini solo in the turnaround at 1:57 would have been nice, but I have nothing else to add other than my biggest issue, which is that your ‘demos’ sound better than anything I’ve ever released, it’s kind of sickening really hehe.
No but seriously great work man, if that’s the demo, the finished product is gonna be off the hook.
… I hope not!