I forget tracks, too, when I don’t finish right away. I wouldn’t describe my quicko lyrics as cheery, and they don’t fit the song’s structure very well. The story is a faux dark one, its tragic love is too well behaved, no body left to be discovered, etc. But here’s one more verse I had appended-
Maybe I dreamed that I came back
And we were together again
But she’s really gone and I got the sack
And I’m leaving tonight in the rain
I’m looking forward to hearing whatever you come up with, my friend.
feaker,
Thank you for the review! Now your song: your singing sounds like a creepy version of Billy Corgan (not a bad thing), it fits the song. It is good you are not pitchy. Instrumentally, it sounds rather good. The electric bass sounds good to me. I have no advice on the mix, sounds fine to me. There is some clicking sound (probably on the vocal track?) at the end of the song that could probably be deleted. Are you from a particular state or country? I’m always curious about that when people comment about my tunes.