Looking for some dark lyrics

Just for grins, here’s some lyrics. The song is lots of fun, has a story to be telling. Feel free to use any of this, Paul.

Vixen of Fashion

I grabbed my backpack and my laptop
I like to travel light when I’m on the road
Sure as the sky is blue it’s going to rain on you
Strange how nothing to do is such a heavy load

Leaving there was no big deal
I should have done that years ago
Leaving her about destroyed me
How I could I’ll never know

She was a vixen of fashion
And I was her victim of love
We never rationed our passion
It endlessly flowed from above

Too bad they ended my employment
The car, the house and the rest
Everything that brought me enjoyment
All the reasons I felt so blessed

When I could no longer pay the bills
I did consider turning to a life of crime
This woman gave me some serious chills
That went up and down my doggone spine

When I told her about my quandary
Gazing into her hazel eyes
Interrupting her folding laundry
I saw no sadness nor surprise

There was sympathy and understanding
She was comforting to no end
She was totally undemanding
And she did not try to pretend

Leaving there was no big deal
I should have done that years ago
Leaving her about destroyed me
How I did it I’ll never know

She was a vixen of fashion
And I was her victim of love
We never rationed our passion
It endlessly flowed from above

Too bad they ended my employment
The parties, the people and the rest
Everything that brought me enjoyment
All the reasons I felt so blessed

Hi steban Thanks for the welcome to Texas:) I read your lyrics and got the visual thanks for thinking of me. I don’t write lyrics beforehand unfortunately. That would be too easy to produce a song that way. I think with this chord progression the lyrics will have to be very dark. Something crawling out of the sewer dark. ha ha
Glad you commented on this. I had forgotten the track, but at present I am in the perfect mood to spew some darkness :frowning:

I forget tracks, too, when I don’t finish right away. I wouldn’t describe my quicko lyrics as cheery, and they don’t fit the song’s structure very well. The story is a faux dark one, its tragic love is too well behaved, no body left to be discovered, etc. But here’s one more verse I had appended-

Maybe I dreamed that I came back
And we were together again
But she’s really gone and I got the sack
And I’m leaving tonight in the rain

I’m looking forward to hearing whatever you come up with, my friend.

feaker,
Thank you for the review! Now your song: your singing sounds like a creepy version of Billy Corgan (not a bad thing), it fits the song. It is good you are not pitchy. Instrumentally, it sounds rather good. The electric bass sounds good to me. I have no advice on the mix, sounds fine to me. There is some clicking sound (probably on the vocal track?) at the end of the song that could probably be deleted. Are you from a particular state or country? I’m always curious about that when people comment about my tunes.

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Hi Aaron I am form the US, Michigan is my home, but I winter in Texas. I was hoping somebody would hear the song and plunk in some words where I was singing notes and garbage. There are like three different songs in that track, once again just experimenting. I don’t do colabs, so that would be new to me. I will figure something out sooner or later. I try to comment on everything posted in bash. The technical stuff is so above my head I don’t even try to go there. Peace to you man:)