here’s where I would start with this one.
They have that high end boost thing going on that I hear in a lot of home recordings. It’s what you get when you are trying to sound crisp, but it really just ends up sounding harsh. Compression is a much better tool than a high shelf at getting the drums to have attack without being piercing.
There are some timing issues, but not so much that you can’t go in and edit them out. There’s a fine line between sounding human and having slop, and a little bit of editing would fix this right up.
You have two guitars, and they are both trying to take up the entire stereo width, which I think is making the timing issues more prevalent.
The guitars also sound like they have about twice as much distortion as they need for a song like this. This is also a common mistake I hear people make. It’s more fun to play a guitar with lots of distortion, but it doesn’t tend to sit very well because it just ends up sounding fizzy.
The guitars the way they are are also burying the bass. If you had one guitar panned left and the other panned right, the bass would sit right in the middle and be heard without having to boost the low end so much.
The mix almost sounds like it was done in mono and then someone slapped some reverb and a stereo enhancer on it to give it some width. Again, this is kind of contributing to the jumbled feel. I think if you just worked your panning, it would automatically open up everything and it will fall into place much more easily.