Instead I Said Goodbye

Bash This Recording
#1

I am not saying goodbye. This is two days old. It is not political nor personal in nature, just what I call a new wave psychedelic pop rock breakup song. I wrote the lyrics first during The Voice Monday night, the rest came Tuesday. It always concerns me that I am too close to some other song, melody, words, title even. This one is so generic I am afraid to google it.

Shortly I’ll get back on track responding to things here. Thanks!

Instead I Said Goodbye by Steve Bancroft

I wanted to see you smile
I wanted to hear your laugh
I wanted to feel your warmth
Instead I said goodbye

Our paths had crossed in space and time
Coincidence but there we were
Swept up in a fantasy destiny
The rest of our life was just a blur

We hit it off at first I thought
I was certain you felt it too
But now I know I assumed too much
And it was futile pursuing you

I wanted to see you smile
I wanted to hear your laugh
I wanted to feel your warmth
Instead I said goodbye

I wanted to hear your thoughts
I would dry your eyes if you cried
I wanted to promise forever
Instead all I did was say goodbye

Tell me it happens to everyone
Nothing unusual going on
And it hurts for a while but you get used to it
And you think you can learn to move on

Instead every cycle is different
The levels go higher and higher
And your life force credits keep dwindling
Consumed once more by love’s fire

I wanted to see you smile
I wanted to hear your cry
I wanted to touch you everywhere
Instead I said goodbye

3 Likes
#2

nice vibe and maybe just a little to scattered for me, but i really dig that you get that to come out of you. nice.

#3

On my work laptop everything sounds fine. I dig the avant-garde vibe.

#4

Hi Steban. You put a lot of dressing on your vocals. I don’t think you need to. I’m hearing a lot more background on the left than right? The melody line doesn’t change very much throughout the song. I think it has to? The track has a lot of interesting things going on, but it is just a tad bit busy for me. Going to listen again with speakers.

#5

Thanks for listening and your comments, @redworks, @BigAlRocks, and @feaker. This was a somewhat trite lyrical idea that I felt compelled to write, and the first music I was trying failed miserably. I think what worked for this was using a 12 4/4 bar pattern on the chords. I think it fit the lyrics better.

And yes, Paul, it is too repetitive. I would venture to say it is even more repetitive than you think. Avant garde is a kind description of this. I may one day be inspired to come up with a good other part, a natural one! Maybe just 2-3 more chords.

2 Likes
#6

steban,
Thank you for the reviews! Now your song: within 2 seconds it sounds impressive instrumentally; I like that piano (?)! The vocals start, and yes they sound psychedelic, a bit like Pink Floyd. Even though people often accuse me of using too many/too much vocal effects, I wonder how your vocals would sound with a bit less effects. I got more used to the vocal effects after a second listen. I like the synth string sound: I like most of its melodies, except a chord or 2 when it sounds like it is going into a minor key (0:16 to 0:22)? Audio quality is quite good on everything. It is interesting how the double-tracked rhythm guitars are not playing the same exact thing simultaneously. Good job. :slight_smile:

#7

Hey again,

There’s a lot going on here and I like it! I love that alternating panned guitar or whatever that is. It makes the song feel quite urgent, but in a good way.

I can hear a bit of Pink Floyd in here…again, a good thing. The harmonies are great and add to the feel of loss or desperation. They make the song as much as that synth does. Maybe more so.
Balance of instruments seem pretty good, nothing is hidden - you could argue that there is too much going on fighting for attention, but I think given your theme, it seems to work!

Much different to the other song I just listened too. I like this one more so and I think it is because the vocals sit nicely in place both in terms of volume and timing.

How did you achieve that panned guitar sound? Is it one track with a delay and treated differently? What is the effect you used on it (Particularly on the left)?
Looking forward to hearing back from you. Great song.

#8

Thanks for the astute critique, aaron. I often try a dry vocal version out on at least one track, but often I decide on more effect if it seems to sit in the mix better. I find myself always starting out with basically the same plugins and settings but willing to try new things for me, and that means I don’t know what works how. I listen to older songs and totally forget how I got the vocals to sound like they did, and still I am so lazy or in a hurry I rarely go back to figure it out to recreate it. It is part of the thrill of singing to use effects. That personal fun often interferes with what is best for the actual song, and yet it often is on the cusp.

Now the offending chord is when I half step up from a major to the minor, hitting a chord between them. I apologize but I cannot identify most chords by name, just can hear them. I think in this song the progression works smoothly most of the time but in some bars it is borderline with what all is going on.

Thanks for your good feedback, Dan. I have VSTi’s from UJAM called VG Iron, VG Amber, VG Silk, and VG Sparkle that are virtual guitars, and each has a lot of presets with riffs. I like to take one track and duplicate but have each playing its own pattern and panned widely. So in this case I didn’t have to do very much at all. I just pick riffs that are offset already so it creates that stereo riff. I also do the same basic thing but with more midi written patterns where I would have to create differences note by note, more normal way.

I think it does make the music sound busier, maybe too busy, so I am always trying to balance this.

1 Like