I finished an unfinished song from a little while back

I did this song not long ago when i was doing a mushroom thangy. It only had two verses. I now have put a sort of chorus in there???
I have a 10 day sore throat and ear infection, so i am forcing words and then can’t hear them when I go back to check. Something seems wrong with the vocal in general. It sounds raspy to me.???
Wondering about the words in the chorus and the basic vibe?

Gently in the wind

There’s a voice that speaks to me from way out there
It’s something that is hard for me to share
Knowing things I’m thinking of…and places I have been
He whispers to me gently in the wind

Secrets I’ve been keeping deep inside…Knowing very well I had to hide

In silent nights he seldom will appear…A rustle in the trees and I will hear
Masked in wind these breathless sounds…a message tucked within
Delivered to me gently in the wind

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Hi feaker,
Very airy and seemingly daydream experience.
Very nice melody, and very emotional singing.
Lovely and endearing.
The lyrics is also well written.
I truly love this song!!!
Great work, Paul!!!

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I especially like the “I’ve been keeping deep inside” phrase, Paul. The verses were sweet, and for me often the chorus is the most elusive part of a song to come up with, but you did it!

As usual your guitar is immaculately tasty.

Your voice does sound a little stretched but still on key and all, maybe more emotional for it. I wish you get over the sore throat and ear infection soon, my friend.

I think it works well with the slightly raspy vocals. I am generally not a fan of ballads. Most are too sweet, and after a guitar /vocal (or piano vocal) verse or two the just layer on violins and stuff and think that makes a song. Your song works because the vocal is not overly sweet, and the song stays true - there is no unnecessary instrumentation. This song is authentic and interesting to listen to. Well done.

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Who is he? That crazy voice we all have that most suppress from the go off and have a nice homicidal day or the voice from someone more like God maybe insisting you smell some roses along your way?

I am on the fence about the Basic Vibe you ask about. You know that fine line between sanity and insanity, I think this song is trying to divide that divided line even further which maybe might be just insane enough to work.

If you edit this, I would revisit it for sure.

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Hi Anthony Ya know my imagination runs rampant at times. I’m kinda “out there” and maybe you too?? :slight_smile: Most songs I hear don’t stimulate my noggin the first ten seconds. I originally had the first 30 seconds all wind talk and forum folks said to chuck that part. It was a little wild i have to admit.
Trying to write a song that is not somewhat similar to one in the past is very difficult, but I try. I just don’t want to hear “that sounds like Boston” etc.

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The thing about fence sitting, it hurts the butt. Fence boards are pokey and full of splinters unless of course you got a rock wall fence and it’s built well then, one can sit there for years. To be clear, your song could go either way for me at this point. Something for me is there and something for me is not there and there is nothing saying either way if you edit this in anyway that I would feel anything of the same way.

A large amount of people in the mainstream hear a new song and think “this sounds like Boston”.
A undisclosed amount of people in the underground hear a new song and think “this sounds like The Jesus Lizard”.
The artist claims…
I am not going to let inspiration flow as inspiration wants because I don’t want anyone to be able to label my results either this way or that, and then… they produce squat.

I am not arguing with you… just observing from my gibberish peddling observation post.

woops some button got clogged

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