Here’s something I’m working on. Demo/proof of concept at this stage. Not really that concerned too much about the mix (it will be re-done) - more if it works as a song, but open to any and all suggestions.
…and an updated version with some changes:
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This is just plain ole sexy. Loved the vox delivery. Not only the vibe, but the attitude.
The hI a i a i anxiety is just downright clever and makes this song IMHO
Ok, so what note is that high vox note at 2:53 ??
Yup, cool song and it might be your best vocal ever.
Before I started this review, I was thinking, critiquing you is like telling Miley Cyrus how to ride a wrecking ball. ha ha
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its got a Nirvana All Apologies vibe to it in the basslines. I dig it.
It works as a song for sure. I know you have got the small big contrast going between the opening and the hook, but the opening lyrics is feeling a bit over improvised (be-hind…m i i nd). I get the satire behind it though. But if you are aiming for a “song-song”, maybe restructure the opening lyrics a bit so the opening phrases don’t need over vocalization right away. I love the vocalizations in the verse 2 though, so leave that. Just that opening could be simplified a bit.
Another thing is song length. The lyrics arent holding the attention all the way through. Maybe aim for a little less than 4min?
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Thanks Paul - glad you like it!
Bb, I think.
Thanks for listening and commenting
Cool, great to know.
Fantastic advice. I agree - gonna change the first verse so there is less ornamentation on the vocal. I got used to singing it that way, but originally I sang it without any added notes at the end.
I think you’re spot on here too. When I listened back after a break, I think the repeat on the last chorus is superfluous. I also have another vocal idea for the ending that I was thinking of trying. Your comment has sealed it - I’m cutting it shorter and changing it with an additional vocal idea.
Thanks for listening and providing thoughtful input - Much appreciated!
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Great song. The first time through on the chorus I was jolted by the diminished structure of the guitar vs. the melody of the voice, but as the song progresses it sits really nicely.
About the only thing I can think of would be to reinforce the voice with some harmony vocals on the last couple of choruses to make the melody of the main voice more obvious.
The guitar playing is really good, as always, and the song grows on you after repeated listenings, which is always a good sign.
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I am really digging the verses and prechorus, not too fussed by the chorus. That is my gut reaction, you know after a couple of listens that could change. by the way when I say I am digging the verse and prechorus I mean it might be my favourite thing I have heard of yours, so it may be a style thing.
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Verses work great. The chorus melody is good, not as convinced by the chorus lyrics. The concept ‘high anxiety’ is good but the ‘will not let me be, got a hold on me, will not set me free’ is kind of cliched. But that’s just me, plenty of famous songs are like that so . … . nice understated solo.
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Great stuff! Definitely works as a concept. I really liked all the guitar work, with tastefully done delay at all the right parts. Vocals are very well done; all great performances. Cool chord changes. The guitar solo is a winner for sure.
I had the same thought as the comment above. The lyrics in the chorus and some other places are kind of obvious. The song structure is just so creative it keeps you guessing, and maybe deserves lyrics a little more interesting…but it still works as is. (That’s just me being nitpicky and into some weird bands) Nice work!
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Definitely ‘works’ as a proof of concept. Your ‘demos’ are better than most officially released songs. Interesting chord changes and structure… and as always a cool guitar solo section that is never quite what you expect. For some reason this one brought Steely Dan to mind… not that it sounded like SD, but the coolness of the changes and solo just made me think that direction. One of those bits that makes you think “that was cool” when you hear it. Really enjoyed this.
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Hi everyone, thank you for your comments and input - much appreciated!
Here is a revised version with a few changes (in OP also):
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just about nearing perfection in song structure. The song holds attention well with the changes.
Looking forward to seeing this through the mixing stages (though it sounds good as a mix as well).
The lead vocals a tad bit loud in the verses (when the bass is playing) and sound a bit seprate acoustically. May want to add a bit of color.
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