Farewell To Slumberland [a work in progress ]

Farewell To Slumberland [a work in progress ]
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Started writing/recording this one about 5 days ago, and as fate would have it my good buddy just today handed me some fresh vocals to go over the top so playing around with vocals has been the task of the day.
After taking away some valuable mix lessons from Andrew (Cold Room) last time round I found myself taking a new approach and mixing/treating as I was writing/tracking, so by the time the vocals were ready, I was more than 80% done, whereas previously, because i didn’t have a clear benchmark as to where certain elements needed to be within the mix i.e guitars usually way too loud, when it came time to mix vocals it would become quite a struggle.
Outro still feels a bit lack lustre to me, and possibly considering throwing a guitar solo in there or something to mix shit up, but I’m all out of ears and ideas for today so I’ll just put it out there for any and all feedback.
Cheers.

2nd mix, with added seasoning. Still not entirely happy, especially with the outro, but that’s all I got for now.

3rd and final, much happier with the outro now. I’m gonna go out on a limb and call this one a done deal.

You must be mistaken
I do not belong to you
I will not comply
I will not bow to you
You’re not my God
You’re not anything

I know that it’s quite a surprise that
You don’t own me
I’ve discarded your shackles and lies
From where you’ve grown me
I’m awake, I’m awake
For you grew too greedy
You pushed me too close to the edge
I’m awake, I’m awake

What is your name?
Tell me why should I care?
History will forget to remember you.
You’re the “deity” that was never there
Who are you the god of now?

How does it feel to watch your masterpiece
Slip through your fingers
No

Tell me who will build your pyramid’s now in your dream world?
Nobody’s left, cause we’re not asleep
How does it feel?
How does it feel, to be the only one left in your dream world?
Cause we’re not asleep

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Very cool mate! Sounds very much on the progressive side of things - a little Karnivool-ish perhaps? This sounds really great! Vocals are awesome - that note at the end… wow!

The mix is really solid and all the key elements are in place. It’s up to you where you take it from here. For example, you can automate those guitars to jump out louder in some places for little “spotlights” to give them some movement.

I can hear a lot more ear candy on something like this - little “events” and textures happening around the vocal and weaving in and out. There is a lot of space for that sort of thing. It is time consuming, as there is a lot of trial and error, but it can be really satisfying and creative to get a little experimental with things.

On a technical note, the vocals need a little more de-essing - not too much, but the sibilants are just coming in a little hot on systems that have decent highs in them.

Really nicely done!

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This really has an interesting feel to it and is well performed. The vocal sounds very polished, and sits very nicely in the mix with a lot of articulation and presence.
My only suggestions, based on one listen, would be to give the guitars a little more presence, similar to the way the vocal is treated. The feel of the song is dark and brooding, matching the lyrical content, and a little more articulation on the guitars would bring them out without detracting from the feel. Not more volume, just a little more bite.
My second suggestion, which is just a personal preference thing, would be to try a different harmony at the beginning of the verses; the one you are using is fine, but moving the harmony line a little bit higher in pitch, like you do at the end of the verse, would add a touch of melody in contrast to the dark backdrop.
This is very well done, as Andrew suggested, finding a few flourishes to break up the rhythmic droning could add a lot of drama to an already nice composition.

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Excellent performance all around, the vocals are outstanding. I agree with the other comments about the guitars. Maybe pan them just a tiny bit wider to open a larger space between them and the vocals.
The bass sits well just below the vocals (I’m listening on headphones).

Great voice. How you can get that vox to come thru clean with all the stuff you have on those guitars is lie what? I can see I have to pound harder on my tracks. My granddaughter actually told me that, The riffs and drums are amazing IMHO.
I had to bring down my player to listen to 24 and my stuff is 34. Pause…that high note was E??? wow
big congrats Mr fuzzy junk

Thanks for the feedback mate, I took your suggestions on board and attempted to sprinkle through a few more little moments to try and add interest, e.g some legato synths in the 2nd verse, some orchestral parts as well as layering extra rhythm guitars in selected sections to try and beef things up. Whether or not I actually suceeded is another question, but there’s nothing obviously jumping out in a negative way that I can tell. Still not digging the outro, the fade out feels like very lazy songwriting, when I step back and critically analyze it, so I’ll just have to mull that one over for the time being.

Good call. Although the de-essing was literally the very first job I did upon loading up the vox, because I’d pumped up the top end trying to chase more air, I’d obviously undone a lot of the initial de-essing work.
Thanks man.

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I think I managed to get them a little more present by running the Klanghelm IVGI over the dist guitar buss. Let us know if i missed the mark, I’m always happy to go back to the drawing board.

Yep, I’m hearing ya although, unless I go sing it myself I’m kinda locked in with the vocals I’ve got. He probably wouldn’t mind redoing parts if i asked, but I feel a bit weird about asking that sort of stuff (not in person) after I’d already given the greenlight. Would love to work with him in the studio, and really work on his flourishes and stuff, but unfortunately online collab is what it is.
Thanks for the feedback man.

Thanks bud, appreciate the feedback mate. For the record, If I pan the gats any wider they’ll fall off the monitors hehe. nah they’re maxed out 100%, but I did add a bit more saturation so hopefully that helped.
cheers man.

Cheers Paul, yeah that E note man, what a beauty. All I can say in regards to getting things to cooperate within a loud/distorted mix is less is defintely more, and it’s taken me a long long time to arrive at that realization. Mixing in mono has been a big help in that regard.
Thanks for the comments mate.

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Just listening to the new mix on cruddy work speakers - sounding great - I’ll have to check it out on my studio speakers when I get home.

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2nd mix is big improvement. You could try adding a synth-string for that harmony if you want. I like how the voice in that part plays against the background. Guitars sit better now, good progress.

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I’ll definitely try that, cheers mate.

Nice progressive vibe with this, good writing and sound too. Outro could morph into a car horns/sirens/bagpipes disaster scenario effect? Don’t know why I thought of that.

Very cool song and production. I find it entertaining throughout.

I like the clarity and expression of the lead vocal, especially through the verses. The high G note on the vocal gave a nice little push at that point of the song just when it was needing another wrinkle. I really like the 70’s classic rock, prog rock vibe of the song.

As I listened I thought the guitars were lacking a bit of brightness and bite but I think that might be part of what helps the vocals cut through the mix so nicely. The vocal and the guitars seem to be dominating different frequencies. In your subsequent mixes it does sound like you got more bite/ clarity on the guitars. I probably prefer those mixes but the first mix is just as good. It’s just a matter of taste.

I like the cool little synthesizer flourishes and computer sounding bleeps in your later mixes but I like the production without them just as much. I think the last production you did is really good with the big sounding orchestration. The guitars seem bigger on the latest mixes too.

I don’t know if I would worry too much about fading the song out, though I can relate to how you feel about it. I always feel like I’m cutting corners when I don’t have a solid ending. I doubt most people would feel that way about the fade out. The fade can give it a retro feel and I don’t think it hurts the vibe that you got here.

Great stuff !

“bagpipes” I don’t know why that made me laugh, but I guess in the wrong hands it could easily be considered a disaster scenario.
Thanks for the feedback mate.

It’s funny you say that, my boy Jonzey on vocals reckons his missus got the exact same 70’s vibe too, reckon she had the urge to “get her tits out” which made me chuckle.

Once you’ve arrived at a basic mix that is sonically pleasing and has balance and clarity, i think you’re absolutely right, it’s all so subjective, and 1000 different producers would have a thousand different thoughts/opinions on the direction of the song, all being completely valid in their own right. But i guess as a songwriter you just have to take on board the feedback given and make the decisions that you feel will benefit the music and still align with your musical vision.
Personally not having too much vision as to the direction of this particular number, luckily coming on here and getting feedback has by in large only yielded positive results to which I’m exteremely grateful.

Truth is, i always envisioned a fade out, becuase I’d planned on roping an old bandmate in to solo through the outro, but it was looking like it wasn’t going to happen and i got a little disparaged about how it was sounding, but luckily he pulled through in the 13th hour and saved my ass, to the point where I would almost venture to call it “finished” (famous last words)
Hey thanks for the feedback mate, I really do appreciate it.

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That lead and those licks add to the 70’s vibe. I like the sound but I’m wondering if the added guitar part is dominating the vocal a bit too much during the fade out. I tend to like loud lead guitar but sometimes it’s hard to get the balance between the two when they’re active at the same time. It’s so easy to step on the vocal. BUT on the other hand I’m not so certain that the vocal has to be the dominant feature during the fade out. Sounds like the guitarist who did those licks was trying to push the vocalist off the stage. :rofl: I’ll give it another listen tomorrow to see how I feel about it then. I’m pretty tired right now so I may be hearing things wrong. I think it does add something good to the fade out though. The one place that I think I would bring down the lead is when it harmonizes with the high G falsetto vocal note. I’d probably bring that one note down a tad so that the vocal dominates slightly.

The stuff you’ve been adding to the song just keeps making this better and better. Very cool !

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Sweet, I was literally back in the project right now tweakin’ a few little things, so i’ll take a look at the solo volume, you’re probably right. Haha, so much for ‘finished’.
Nah cheers man, appreciated.

EDIT:
Yep, I reckon you were bang on. I faded the beginning of the solo into that big scream to make the vocal the star and dropped the overall lead level, so the vocal is just sitting just on top.
Cheers mate.

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Listening on my studio monitors… Latest mix is :beerbanger: :beerbanger: :beerbanger:

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I’m listening through my lowly iPad but it sounds like you’ve got a better balance between the vocal and the lead guitar licks. I think you got it now! I’ll give it another listen through a better monitoring device tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure this is a keeper, as is.

You’ve done a great job with this. Really cool stuff !

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Cheers guys, yeah I don’t think there’s too much else that I can do at this point, I did extend the fade out by a few seconds to capture as much of the solo as possible, but that’s about it. I’m gonna go ahead and call the a wrap I reckon.
Thanks a heap to everyone who threw in their 2 cents.

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