Here’s a song that lies close to my heart. I wrote about it earlier this year in reply to Dave (Chordwainer)‘s song about his mother. This one is about my mother, who died in a car accident when I was three. For a long time she was only some sort of distant memory, as much planted in my brain by my father and other relatives as any ’ real’ memory. Because I had my share of psychological doubts and fears, specially when I was in my thirties I assumed that the loss of my mother at an early age had something to do with it. So I had several types of therapy and what have you to find out about what the loss of my mother meant to me, but therapy never really made any lasting impression on me. So I eventually thought i’d outgrown it or whatever.
But then there was this song… It was already one of my favourite songs, by an irish singer / songwriter called Luca Bloom. The song is called “The man is alive”. It’s about losing his father at the age of three. Sure this song struck a deep chord with me! But for years I never understood the chorus (because I wasn’t listening!). I thought he sang “Man is alive in me” . Which is a pretty good hook, but I didn’t really get it in the context of the song. Of course he wasn’t singing “Man is alive in me” but “THE man is alive in me”! When one fine day (I’d owned the album more than 10 years I’m sure) I finally found out it hit me like a sledgehammer. This was what I knew all along about my own mother but it just never registered in that wooly brain of mine! Here’s a live version of Luca’s song.
Anyway, I immediately grabbed my guitar and started to write my own version of what is basically the same story. I wrote it about 15 years ago so I was about 48 or so when I finally found out that in essence I am 50% the same person as my mother was. I have so often wondered what it would have been like making music with her: she was very talented people tell me. The knowledge that deep down her music is very much a part of me … well it just made all the difference. What the writing of the song also did for me was to bring together the analytical scientist in me with the creative, sensitive and intuitive side of me. It’s all the same thing!
So now I finally recorded it. I guess you can hear the irish influence in the song. It had to be the acoustic guitar als main instrument, that was clear. I wasn’t sure about a bass guitar, piano or violins, but I think it adds something to the song. Let me know what you think. Also anything I could do to make it any better. I intend to send it to Luca Bloom to let him hear how his song influenced my life. So it better be as good as i can get it