Sometimes I go on great purges where I douse all my previous music in kerosene and set it on fire because I don’t think it’s good at that specific moment because I am so frustrated. I would rather stick my balls on a pole and pour water all over them during winter time and scrape them off with a spatula than listen to my songs at my moment of unparalleled frustration and anger. How do you avoid getting in these bouts of creative disappointment and testicular endangerment?
I don’t get mad, I get quiet and hopeless and grey and the sound of my noises makes me feel ill…
It is yuck and happens with monotonous regularity…
yawn…
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I delete stuff occasionally, but I’ve never been that dramatic about it. I think maybe I should though, I’ve recorded plenty of bonfire worthy crap in my lifetime. Mainly I just get all down and sad about it and ask myself why I still suck so badly after all these years. It’s even worse in the editing/mixing stage when I start doubting if I will ever be able to polish the turd into a song. If I succeed it’s not so bad, even if I hate it afterwords. But sifting through all my shitty vocal takes and trying to mix my shitty guitar playing is pretty demoralizing sometimes. Most of the time actually lol.
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You might get a kick out of this:
I’ve definitely felt sick listening to my songs before. It’s so weird to me how completely unable I am to be objective about them, even if it’s been a long time. I sometimes feel like I’m amazing, and other times feel like there’s no point in even trying. I think it’s just part of the creative process.
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I just stop listening to music completely at that moment 
Maybe the next day I try listening again. It helps !!!
Maybe its just the same as listening to music on a high end sound system. Not every day your ears are ready to enjoy the experience, cause you’re not in the right mood. Days like that you might as well put on some shit radio station and use the crapiest speakers around.
If you’re in this kind of mood, you just have to realise that it is completely useless to listen critically. So might as well shut everything off, and enjoy the quietness
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Hahaha, the rage is strong in this one
Interesting video. I can get that frustrated, difference is that I don’t flail around the room like a spoiled bitch like the girl in that video. Don’t worry Cristina. You’ve got the talents and you don’t seem like you flail.
Since we are all our own worst enemies, let me just say that having the ability to put together a production, good or bad, separates us from the grand majority of people, who go through life with very few creative thoughts, much less learn a musical instrument or recording techniques. If you choose to trash any of these jewels, you are only doing what most of us wish radio programmers would do on a daily basis, so thanks for the effort.
As to testicular endangerment, you are on your own. This is a forum, and any advice taken from an online urologist should be taken with a grain of salt, which now that I think about it might have melted the freeze situation.
I was just thinking about this and realised that anger for me tends to be constructive rather than destructive… once I move from despair to anger, I grit my teeth and think GRRRR F*!! YOU and either write something new or something cunningly vengeful and dive back into life. That F You energy has been quite catalytic for me… but it’s more a controlled rage that can be channeled. A personality type thing I guess.
But I do get incredibly frustrated with the creative process and its predictable unavoidable peaks and troughs…
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WHOA! Not Emma!
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The more I watch that video the more it seems staged or taken out of context. Like it was really an acting class or performance art. That door doesn’t seem to lead to anywhere logical for a real art building.
This LADY has spunk
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Hah! You’re right! After I stopped wondering how many times you had watched the video I checked it again and it turns out this is ‘performance art’ and she is an actress…
When you pour your heart and soul into a project, only to have it painfully critiqued by your peers, it can be quite disheartening. This young artist had a bit of meltdown when she presented her latest project. But what is the actual art, here? To find out more, we Skyped with Teddy, the artist who “freaked out.”
Well spotted!!!
Yeah, agree 100% with Emma.
On reflection, a lot of ideas/unfinished projects seem naive…or just plain shite sometimes BUT they are always tweakable or rescueable in some way. The end result might bear very little resemblance but it means in some twisted way that there was at least the germ of something there in the first place.
Fear of unwittingly creating a masterpiece, however unlikely the idea, keeps me form the art of true destruction.
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record germs.
Its still fun when the germs hit. (firedance love the germ term lol)
I always thought John Lennon was sabotaging his music with Yoko screeching, some kind of HAIR PEACE humor with her squawking noises during his songs…kind of a Foff thing. It did make some people laugh and others shocked and some angry because they bought the album that was only 50% his songs…so he did accomplish his Reginald Perrin shock trick to the mindless. Was it a joke or was he intentionally torching his career?
Maybe a lot of musicians are just twisted in the art and cyclically douse the pile with kerosene and start over with some new germ of something.
This time of year I try to do the boring backup of germ-recordings as if its important to keep it all,…( wtf? I think I spend more time doing geek stuff than playing anymore…somehow the difference of an OpAmp spec can be more interesting. ) Maybe this year I will destroy the hardrive in some symbolic rebirth of the Phoneix type thing…what if I change my mind later?
I kind of like the idea of purging with kerosene…why?
Its time to go do something important and ponder this end of the year idea of torching everything to a pile of black dust. I have some cracked bricks on the exterior of my house I can fix that should mean something. I dont know anymore after reading this thread.
Douse it, get the insurance money.