Changed post. country song update 2

I wrote this song for my grandson to sing to his girlfriend. I first recorded it in the key of E and had to do it over and change it to C. He can’t sing high anymore. Pain in the rear. He liked it alot but is very slow to react to anything. ha ha I am tired of it and have to move one, but I thought I would show that I finished it. Low sing is not my fav.

a little clean up and verb

Sabrina

I left Minnesota…headin south C verse 1
My girlfriend wouldn’t come along…. but

Texting and phone calls….just ain’t the same F
I miss you plenty… but I gotta make some money G
Cuz my credit card went up in flames G………C

Sabrina… could you maybe leave the farm F C G C chorus
Hey girlfriend …wish you’d come…on…down F C G
Sabrina…bring your tractor along F C G C
Don’t think twice …I know you’re gonna like this little town F C G F C

The pasture to the city is quite a change C verse 2
No roosters here to get you out of bed

I’ve been waiting patiently…but can’t you see F
Comin home to no one …sure has not been much fun G
I’m gettin pretty tired a being alone G…….C

Sabrina… ya know I really miss ya F C G C chorus
Hey girl…I should be kissin on you F G C
As you know….I struggle in the kitchen F C G C
Sabrina….I hope you are missin me too F C G F C

Hey hey wha da ya say time to leave that bale of hay…
Spin those wheels…scoot on down…maybe you’ll decide to stay

Sabrina… I got no one to talk to
Family’s here… but it’s not you
I’ll be alright …but the waiting is hard
Sabrina….ya know I’m stuck on you

2 Likes

Baloney. Take some time to reflect and you’ll be churning them out again.

2 Likes

Hey Bob I recntly have/ had covid for the fourth time and it knocked the shit out of me this time. Finally commin around.
Ya know i don’t mind music that isn’t up to standards, but not to share it gets old fast.
I always immediately comment on any song that gets put up on the forum. There just isn’t anybody here any more.
I do however regret not doing a few more collabs with you.
My biggest issue is my voice getting bad. Lots to blamed including allergies and my 75th. haha
I have my grandson Ryan living here with us and have talked him into doing ome singing. He is 3/10 into get ting his commercial pilots license and is getting some decent hours teaching newbies how to fly.
He has a girlfriend he left home in Iowa. She has visited and seems real nice etc
Anyway i wrote him a song to send to her to maybe coax her into coming to Texas?
He likes country, so regrettably I threw some tracks together and about done except for his singing it. Here is the song

1 Like

See, a little elbow to the ribs and you crank out a tune. It will be nice to hear it when the vocal is done.

2 Likes

Yeah thanks for that kick in the ass. I needed it.

Not sure if it works so good, but I threw in a C# progression with a cheapo break and then slid back into the chorus???I think it worked?
I sang this so he could get a feel for the lyric melody. Hard to track him down to sing this. He always says Donkey as a final expression???
I was hoping the opening riff was sort of original?? Anyway have a listen it you like

lyrics chaning all the time

Sabrina

I came from Minnesota left my girlfriend behind E
Too tough to leave her family…she quickly declined
Iowa to Texas was too heavy on her mind
My planning did not have a good design

Texting and phone calls just aint the same A
Forced I had to walk away there’s no one to blame E
I miss you plenty… but I gotta make some money B7
Cuz my credit card went up in flames B7…….E

Sabrina… could you maybe leave the farm D A E A chorus
Hey girlfriend …wish you’d come…on…down D A E
Sabrina…bring your tractor along D A E A
Don’t hesitate …I know you’re gonna like this little town D A G D A

A difficult transition. the pasture to the city E
Might take some time for you to settle in
Eventually I’ll make some money we can go out dancin
The Texas two step might be kinda fun

I feel for your parents have a daughter like you A
Fearing guys like me… bein out there on yur own E
I know it sounds selfish… but I need you too B7
I’m kinda gettin tired a being alone B7 E

Sabrina… ya know I really miss ya D A E A chorus
Hey girl I should be kissin on you D A E
Sabrina…I am strugglin in the kitchen D A E A
Full stop…I’m hopin you are missin me too D A G D A (break)

Come-a come-a come-a come-a come on down… D A G A
Come-a come-a down and see me D G A

2 Likes

Nice job, good country rock feel to it. The chorus is nice and solid and catchy. Since you slid up to C#, you should try going to D on the final chorus to complete the modulation treat. It sounds like it loses a little energy when you slide back down. (Presuming it is in your range).
This could be rocked up nicely with a little grit and twang on the rhythm guitars and a fat drum track.
Sounds like you’re feeling better.

2 Likes

Since you slid up to C#, you should try going to D on the final chorus to complete the modulation treat
Hey Bob. I was in E progression until i went to the C# backing for the break. And then I slid up to the D for the first chord of the Chorus. I could bring it up one more time pretty easy and yes it gets a little old after awhile (good take)
I think i have to add more and more spice at it get moving.
I don’t have any dirt on the guitars. Just my PRS straight to the track.
You give me lots to think about/change. I have to get Ryan onboard soon.
His first flight today was a trial because the alternator failed on takeoff and to circle back. ha ha thanks for stopping by and join in the song if you are bored
sincerely
Paul

I love this tune Paul. I love your lyrics, they are very well put together when you write a song.

1 Like

Hey James. It only matters to my grandson and his girlfriend. We are getting together as a family this weekend to work on the lyrics and total production layout. the last time I recorded Ryan is when he was eight. He is now 24. ha ha
We/me never have high expectations and that makes it a whole lot funner :slight_smile:
Thanks for stopping by for a visit.

1 Like

this is really good Paul :slight_smile: love the design elements in there.
From a mix standpoint, it doesn’t feel too far behind other songs in this genre.

The nitpicks I would point out is that the Chorus needs a bit more power relative to the verse (Sabrina! )The harmonies need to shine along with the vocals. This is because the lead vocals in the verse feel a bit louder than the chorus and upfront, so the impact of the chorus feels less when it should feel like literally shouting her name out. To accomplish this, I would recommend removing any limiters you may have on the master chain. Then tweak the dynamics of the verse.

Separate the chorus elements on a whole different track or bus than the verse. Here you can automate or add limiters specifically to the chorus.

1 Like

[quote=“FluteCafe, post:10, topic:6702”]
To accomplish this, I would recommend removing any limiters you may have on the master chain
Hi Michelle I have just recently started messing with limiters. I do have one on the main that is just called clean up. Ha ha I never used them before. I agree and will remove them. Just got lazy
Yes, right now the chorus doesn’t pop. I have a low and high bgv, but never sure where to pan them. I usually put them left and right by 40-55 percent. Just a guess.
I have never separated the chorus, but it sounds interesting.
Lots of work left to do. I have spent way too much time on the lyrics already. ha ha
Good to hear from you and thanks for the tips.
sincerely
Paul

your panning etc seems ok. Separating the chorus is not the ideal solution but as a quick hack it can work wonders. It will allow you to make it louder and wider quickly. It just has to be a bit louder and stronger than the verses.

1 Like

Hi Michelle
I reposted maybe the final version of this track. I really liked it in the key of E. Like day tripper, hey baby,pretty woman. Starting on a C note sucks. The new version is in the first post. Thanks for your ever ready 2 cents.

1 Like

Checked it out. Loving the bassline on this, so good job there! The Baritone and gravelly elements in your voice were a nice surprise for me! Didnt know you had some more tricks up your sleeve. You are ever so surprising! :beerbanger:
Vocals are coming through nicely but not conflicting with the bassline.
I think this is pretty close to the finish line. Minor frequency issues in a few areas (90hz to 650) . Can be easily rectified with a bit of post EQ to make it radio ready!

There is a skip around 39s to 41s (might want to look at that)
(On a second listen…now I am not sure if it is a skip or if the bass comes in too hot and peaks. But something distracting is there)

Vocals are a bit too loud around 1:48 in the prechorus. You could easily take that down -3db and still be fine before the chorus hits.
These are some areas I was thinking to juice up with a bit of automation and eq

1 Like

Hi there. I haven’t ever messed with the total final mix. I know there is a place there for adjustments. I do slide a mild limiter in there so it doesn’t show any red . ha ha
I am going to experiment with the areas you pointed out.
If my grandson Ryan will actually sing this, I was going to ask you to master it. You name the price. The last one you did for me was really good. I think it was 100??
Those low notes weren’t too bad. They were as low as A and one G.
When I had covid a few weeks ago I could sing down to F. It was crazy…and scary.
I could make that vox much better because I sang it in chunks as lyrics changed. ??
Very much help Michelle.
On another front, i have an old band member of mine finally interested in doing some recording. He was our lead singer. We we thinking of nights in white satin. He said he would try to figure out the strings notes and play them on the organ. I told him I have a friend…

1 Like

Ill be happy to master it if your grandson sings :slight_smile: I can do mastering, but I am nowhere near the professional level of actual mastering engineers. 100 from before was for production elements, and simple mix and master :slight_smile:
A pizza hut card could be just fine :beerbanger:

1 Like

I love this Paul, is that a slap delay or are you picking in each speaker separately?

Hi James. Not sure what section of the track you are talking about? I’m pretty slow:)
On the intro, I had a separate track with a back beat jab. I offset the bridge slightly with a second track just for fun. I have a repetitious PRS left and right. Bass and drums down the middle.
I have never done anything like this before. My grandson will be singing this soon:)
Thanks for your support. carry on

1 Like

feaker,
I listened to the second mix. I think it sounds very good all around! :slight_smile:

1 Like

Thanks aaron for the visit. You need to come round more often :slight_smile: