Break up tune

Break up tune
0

#1

I have no words. Not my thing. I usually leave that up to someone else. Clean electric through a blues junior. Dirty through a Dual Terror. I played some trombone parts. Used a big muff pi for the solo. Bass is a DI. Drums are programmed (sorry not a drummer lol). Instruments are a Epi 339, Warwick thumb 4-string, Bach 42 Trombone.http://indierecordingdepot.com/uploads/default/original/2X/9/9d350f1b919f3dd5531ef66d466742f753f231d0.mp3


#2

Cstuettgen,
Thank you for the review, I appreciate it! What state or country are you from (I’m always curious where people are from when they review my music)? Drums sound fine. I like the clean guitar tone and playing. In my opinion, there is a bit too much distortion on the distorted rhythm guitar. Trombone is not something you hear everyday on blues/rock; it adds to the song. Some singing would be nice, though at least the phone message adds some sort of vocals. I liked the song; keep at it! :slight_smile:


#3

I am from Longview, Texas which is in East Texas about an hour away from Shreveport, Louisiana and 2 hours from Dallas. You’re probably right about the distortion. I should have backed it down a hair. I got a new toy and wanted to hear it roar haha! I figure dialing the gain down a small amount would clear it up. The trombone was staring at me in the corner and I heard a place for it. Figured I would try to add some ‘epic’ to this. I really need to find a lyricist or get mused to write lyrics. Thanks for your comments!


#4

This is a really good framework for a song, getting some vocals and lyrics would be great! The tune seems like it would readily lend itself to that, it has a good meter and structure for singing.

I agree with Aaron about the distortion on the rhythm guitar, I’d dial that back a fair bit.

For future reference, you can embed your tunes right here in the forum post, simply drag and drop the mp3 into the text-editing box. You’ll get a LOT more listens if folks don’t have to go to another site-- even though it’s only a few clicks, most folks will just kind of move on…

And howdy from Houston! (Well, south of Houston, in the Clear Lake area)


#5

That’s good to know about the embedding. Thanks for your insight and compliments!


#6

Great framework. Bass is nice and tight with the drums!


#7

Hi Charlie and welcome to IRD. Very catchy riff/song structure you have here.

I like the fact that it is simple, yet it has something really “tangy” about the harmonic structure of the “chorus” hook.

The distortion sound is something that the other guys have mentioned, and I think, while it is harmonically the strongest part of the song, sonically it is also currently the song’s “Achilles heel”.

It sounds like you might be using a Vox-style amplifier/amp sim, which has a really prominent midrange boost around the 400-500hz mark, which tends to make the distorted sound pretty “boxy” and a little “cheap-sounding” when it comes in.

My suggestion would be to take some of that out and see if it improves the sound. Also, try double-tracking that guitar part with another amp/guitar sound and panning the parts both hard left and right. That would really help give more importance to the part, as well as increase the “size” of the mix.

Cool stuff.


#8

I will try dropping down that range. I used an Orange Dual Terror for the distortion with the Epi 339. I may try using the Gibson SG to add some diversity. Thank you.


#9

Hey Charlie, welcome to IRD! I’m practically down the road from you in Magnolia, Texas, coincidentally!

Well my fellow Interstellar Fur Traders collaborator @ingolee alerted me to your song in BTR. He’s the strings and many other hats and I am the singer and lyricist among other things, so I listened a couple times. I liked the simple bluesy melody, and your guitar sound reminds me of Clapton in Cream, really tasty, dude! And as I listen out of the blue this line/title comes to me- Standing on the Edge Looking Down. Maybe I subconsciously keyed off the word mention in the spoken part. And in less than an hour I had written two verses and a chorus and was semi singing along to your song, so since I was all plugged in I thought, what the heck? I should just try it out for size. And this is what I came up with, with a little arrangement advice from Ingo. If you don’t like it I’ll take it down. It was fun to do! I think it needs strings and maybe more trombone (mind you, it is a topnotch touch already) and it would be the lost ELO track!

As you can see below I tried to get the woman’s spoken part down, I may be wrong somewhere, but it does have a relevant vibe to these lyrics I added. I tried to keep them a little vague but suggestive of deeper personal and political meaning, of course. This is a megaphone effect with Bozz Labs Imperial Delay, by the way. It just seemed to go well in this song.

Standing on the Edge Looking Down

Well there’s a man with a plan over there
Telling me that I better beware
He’ll say exactly
What I want to hear
But I say to myself, let’s be clear
It’s the truth that you really fear
It’s the truth that you really fear
It’s the truth that you really fear

So I’m standing on the edge looking down
And it’s a long, long way to the ground
And gravity don’t play around
And the deal of my life’s going down
As I’m standing on the edge looking down

There’s a woman I met just last weekend
I think I was swimming in the deep end
But like a good dog I kept paddling
What was I doing, I kept wondering
What was she saying, I felt weakened
And the hole in my heart only deepened

So I’m standing on the edge looking down
And it’s a long, long way to the ground
And gravity don’t play around
And the deal in my life’s going down
As I’m standing on the edge looking down
Standing on the edge looking down

Hey Paul,
I’m just glad we made it back from friends
And I appreciate the files for updating
I’m just calling to let you talk to you
To know what’s going on in my head
Um, about our relationship
And you’re right that it will go down is so true
If we’re going to catch up
But if not we’ll just catch up some other time
Bye


#10

That’s some heavy stuff right there! Nice work! I might have to work with you on that. The voicemail is, well, voicemail quality lol. This girl did me dirty and left me while I had pneumonia and was dating someone a week later. The voicemail is addressed to me, “Charles.” Although, I am not without my faults in the matter either. I got pretty short during the time and musicians are not always easy people. Anyway, I sometimes make my way down to Houston via I-45 from work in Tyler to visit family on the weekends. Magnolia isn’t too far off. If you don’t mind I would like to make some adjustments and get back with you.


#11

Very cool, Charles. I’m basically retired so I have a fairly open schedule, so if you’re ever in the area I’d enjoy getting together. Breakfast, lunch or dinner or drinks or music. And it’s your song, so please feel free to do whatever you like with it.


#12

I did something similar with a singer once except I blended her voice with a guitar amp.


#13

That was similar, main difference is she has a really sweet sexy voice naturally, whereas I do not. I’m not even as pretty! Nevertheless, we do what we can imagine doing, and what works works.

That voicemail was pretty funny in its reality TV way, and my lyrics deviate from the historical records.


#14

Standing on the edge looking down is a fitting narrative. I worked with my ex and climbed into a bottle for the better part of year and lost 20 pounds. Blood pressure was 150/100 being in the same building.


#15

Well, Charlie, I was rereading your post and thinking, and I added another verse to reflect that. I don’t spend a lot of time with the details, I just have fun with it. There’s a little string track also that is just a placeholder for something more polished. I thought you might want to hear it. It is like throwing in three differing scenarios with that chorus metaphor.

Standing on the Edge Looking Down

Well there’s a man with a plan over there
Telling me that I better beware
He’ll say exactly
What I want to hear
But I say to myself, let’s be clear
It’s the truth that you really fear
It’s the truth that you really fear
It’s the truth that you really fear

I worked with my ex for almost a year
I thought I could handle it, I liked my career
Climbed into a bottle and lost 20 pounds
I was physically ill whenever she was around
And my blood pressure was up
150 over a 100, if you know what I mean
Simply being in the same building

So I’m standing on the edge looking down
And it’s a long, long way to the ground
And gravity don’t play around
And the deal of my life’s going down
As I’m standing on the edge looking down

There’s a woman I met just last weekend
I think I was swimming in the deep end
But like a good dog I kept paddling
What was I doing, I kept wondering
What was she saying, I felt weakened
And the hole in my heart only deepened

So I’m standing on the edge looking down
And it’s a long, long way to the ground
And gravity don’t play around
And the deal of my life’s going down
As I’m standing on the edge looking down
Standing on the edge looking down

Hey Charles,
I’m just glad we made it back from friends
And I appreciate the files for updating
I’m just calling to let you talk to you
To know what’s going on in my head
Um, about our relationship
And you’re right that it will go down is so true
If we’re going to catch up
But if not we’ll just catch up some other time
Bye