I wrote this a few months ago and I was told at the time it needed a lot of work. I did the best I could trying some new panning and EQ that I have learned as of late. I play all instruments except the drums. I had to resing most of it and it is hard to sound young when your are 68. ha ha I also tried to dag and drop the song here to avoid Soundcloud, but I failed. The song is all about a young lady that has a fantasy boyfriend. Please let me have it.
sincerely
paul
the kit makes it real clubby and a bit repetitive. I donāt know if you are going for that or not. The guitars are fine but its just too much of the same thing for me. I would like to hear some variation in the guitars throughout the song or a add another guitar part. Whoa did I just hear a trumpet? This song would sound awesome with a little trumpet melody or solo somewhere. And maybe walk around on the bass a little bit instead of playing the root of the guitar power chords. That way you can hit some minor 3rds and really help bring out the minor chords.
Hi Mr Dig Nice to meet you. Thanks so much for your comments. I hear what you are saying about those drums. I found those in studio one under I think vengenance?? They do sound clublike. ha ha I will have to look around. This is the first time I played a guitar track and then just cloned and delayed it and put it on the other side, How lazy is that?? Yes, the track has nothing for accents or fills. (and that is the fun part usually) I was just going to give this one the boot, but now I will use your suggestions and try some things. This is appreciated:)
Sincerely
paul
Another really catchy, sweet tune, Paul!
I think the key to getting this tune to reach itās full potential would be to choose which route you want to take with the production. At present, it sounds like it canāt decide whether it wants to be rock, acoustic, or electronic. The driving kick makes me think electronic, but the tom parts sound like an acoustic kit and donāt really fit IMO.
Listening to your track made me think of the German Duo āMilky Chanceā. They have a kind of acoustic/electronic hybrid going onā¦ If you havenāt heard them already, you may want to take a listen - it might help with some ideas in that regard:
Hi CR Yeah, I wrote this song and found a drum track and just went with it. I see today that the fills are called acoustic and the main is called impact. I donāt have a clue on drum stuff. I bought EZ drummer and still canāt find anything I like.
I listened to the youtube example and I see now where you are coming from. Iām not sure what I am trying to do with this track. I like the thought of a fantasy boyfriend. I kinda liked the rhythm guitar, although it needs a counterpartner:)
The base is generic. (I am on a 3 month vacation at my Daughterās and didnāt bring my bass) I can go buy one at the pawn shop like I did last year. ha ha I guess step one is to find some good drum tracks first that might give me more direction. Just trying to be creative:) Thanks for helping and old man who is trying to hang around a bit longer
Sincerely
Paul
Hey Paul, I donāt remember what youāre using for a DAW, but Iām sure it allows for vsts if you look into it. You can get some pretty great drum stuff for free, and edit it and make your own loops using your keyboard. It sounds a lot scarier than it is. You can usually take a four bar part and repeat it, then go back and edit a few hits here and there, or add pre made fills. It can add a lot to what youāre.already doing, which is very nice, by the way, and it can open up a bunch of creative avenues for you. Once you understand it, you can get a pretty good drum track set up in a short period of time, and mess around with velocities and hits for more of a live feel. It would help you to give your songs the dynamics they de. When I started posting on RR, the first thing that got bashed was the drums, for both sound a nd performance. If you donāt have a drummer to help you, mess around a little with this stuff, and youāll start thinking like a drummer. On second thought, that might not be sjuch a good idea. (Insert corny drummer joke here).
Hi Paul,
you really are clever at writing these pop-type songs with a charming quirk factorā¦ and by the way, your voice doesnāt sound old at allā¦ just saying! 
In terms of bashing, I wondered about having a bit more of an acoustic sound for the opening instrumentsā¦ I really like your opening vocals, thereās a great ācatchā to how you are singing it and it just feels a little at odds with the sound scene that youāve created. But hey, thatās just my two centsā¦
Donāt give this one the boot - itās a cool one!!! I know drums are a pain to nail, but Iām liking the beat and sense you have created, Iād just like a bit moreā¦ hmm, authenticity? Is that what I mean? Perhaps Iām overthinking it, but I enjoyed that track that fHumble posted and really like the idea of you just diving in and making some more unique sounds rather than the drum groove feelā¦ Great to hear that you are music-making againā¦ Iām busting to be able to do that againā¦ Have just had daughterās wedding at our place - what a major that was. I did the catering too, what a DUMB idea and then the week after, the garden had been absolutely beautiful, then we had a major storm that tore branches off large trees and flattened flowers. Autumn has arrivedā¦ 
Hi SB I am so pumped to start lookin for some free drum samples. I am using Studio One 2. I have a great electronic drom set at homeā¦kinda hard to drag along on a trip. I know how critical the drums are in a song. one of the problems I am having is that most kits follow along with the tempo. my song is 96 bpm. The tracks in studio one that I like say 115 or 140 and wonāt automatically sync to the track??? This is what happens when you donāt have all cylinders firing at the same time. That weak cylinder (drums) really stands out. I have been getting some great info now to start a rebuild. ha ha
Thank you for taking the time to post this help
Sincerely
Paul
Hi Emma One of my granddaughters (Jenna-9) was blown away that I have a friend from the other side of the world. She came out with her globe to point you out. ha ha She asked two questionsā¦Is she nice, and does grandma knowā¦tee hee
I like your idea (and you have may) of the acoustic start (however, I donāt have one with me) I also get what you are saying about the vocal not quite matching the scene?? Gotta think about that and how to change up a bit. And no you are not overthinking it.
Congrats on the wedding and it sounds like you bit off a little too much?? I am the same. I just tiled the whole downstairs of my daughters house here to save her a ton of money. I never stop:) Hard to even think of fall now. It is 75 degrees here, and at my home in Michigan 22. We will most likely stay for at least another month. I do miss my home (and my studio) tho. I was also thinking that some young lady could sing this in the first person about her fantasy boyfriend???
So good to hear from you.
Sincerely
Paul
There is usually a function for syncing the tempo of the drums to your grid. The tempo youāre seeing on the drum samples is just what they were recorded in. Set up a blank project, and just put the drums in as a vst instrument for about four bars. Highlight the drum track, then see if you have a midi editor somewhere in your toolbar or menu. If you do, the drums will show up on a grid, where you can add, erase, move stuff around. If you can do that you can make short parts to repeat, copy and paste,etc. and add simple variations to make it how you want. Pretty good tool once you mess with it. You can also probably make samples with your e-drums too and develop a library of your own.
SB that is a great idea. I did get brave today and downloaded and update to EZ and actually got it to work. There were some new samples in there that I am presently messing with. I found out I could click on each segment and change just about everything from the snare sound to the volume of the HH, snare, kick etc. Very cool. You see these comments forced me to dig deeper and probe around a bit. I will try your idea tomorrow. Might even get a little reckless. Thanks so much for the help. I donāt have much to offer, but If I can ever help youā¦
Sincerely
Paul
EZ works well and sounds good, and is easy to edit. You can go multichannel too if you want to have more control. Have fun.
The vocal reminds me of Angus and Julia Stone, which is really cool in my book! Though I think the vocal could be glued to the mix better, especially in the verses. The song sounds a bit too crispy to me as well. Maybe the hi hats are a bit loud or something, and a touch too much high end in the vocal?
I really like this song though. I agree with some others that the drums could be more realistic sounding. Again itās probably the hi hat that sticks out to me the most. The groove is nice, and I think a lot of the time the song breathes well from beat to beat. I was definitely bobbing my head. I did notice just once in a while the guitars would be a little late or something and it threw me off. But yeah overall the song sounds modern to me. Nice job!
Wow Cristina, you have a great ear. I was playing guitar to remove that clone track last night and I stopped and put just the original guitar and click track on together. There was some timing in there that was really off. I dragged a bunch around this morning and it is going to help. I do believe the vocal might be EQād wrong. I usually knock of a bunch under two hundred and taper to 500. If I leave it natural, I canāt hear the lyrics. Folks that know there stuff could do that I bet:)_
I am working on the drums now because that is the biggest hurdle. I am afraid that I am going a little off course tho. I changed the intro into something a little out there. ha ha My wife has me too busy to get to my stuff right now. bummer
Thanks a lot for taking the time. I really like your stuff:)
Sincerely
Paul
Hullo Paul! First off, I think this is a really fun tune. Itās not my āhomeā genre but I found it to be catchy and an enjoyable listen.
Other than what everyone else has commented on which I agree with, hereās a few things that were going through my head while listening:
I just typed a bunch of stuff then scrolled up and realized @ColdRoomStudio said pretty much the exact same thing already: choosing where you want the song to go stylistically. I also completely agree about the acoustic/electric indie-rock/pop vibe. I donāt mind at all the electronic-ish drums but I think the addition of some keyboard-based instrumentation would really help fill things inā¦ like an organ or piano. Maybe even a little synth line if youāre feeling wild n crazy! Some movement in the bass too would go a long way. I like the guitars and really dig the pan/delay sound. Now that I think of it, even mixing in some ānaturalā drums might sound really cool.
From a production standpoint, I felt like the track lacked dynamics from one section to the other. Like, the chorus was the same energy as the verse. That could certainly be an artistic choice, but I like choruses to have a bit more oomph to them, even in a nice quirky tune like this. It just helps the song from sounding monotone (dynamically speaking). There were some weird level things on the drum tracks, like during the snare fills it sounded like a compressor was clamping down HARD.
Production stuff aside, I think you have the bones of a really fun track. I say experiment with all sorts of different things that people here are suggesting. Thatās the great part about this, you can try everything and if you donāt like it, you go on to the next fun bit of experimentation!
Thanks for sharing! Cheers!
Blair
Hi Blair Nice to meet you. You sound fun to me:) I love recording and putting to life ones thoughts etc. I tried to bring this one to life because both of my granddaughters 9 and 13 liked it. The oldest, Rachel said she wanted me to give her a link to the song. I think maybe she is starting to think about boys a bit and with āthe muscles there and jet black hairā might have got her thinkin. ha ha
Iām glad you talked about the compressor aspect. Studio one has about 10 selections for compressors for drums. I canāt remember their names and unfortunately I just grab one and drag it into the track I think this one said tight or hard? Iāll check that out tho. I have four different drum tracks running on this and that is a problem I found the fills on an acoustic loop and not sure about the rest. I have a good friend that I spent 20 years in a rock band with that I might ask for help on this one. unfortunately it will be a couple of months before I see him again. I am experimenting with a ton of things right now. Unfortunately I deleted a few things by mistake. Might be tough to get that same tone back again?
I donāt have access to any keyboards at all. that is why there is the hurt with dynamics. I just play guitars:(
I am so glad that folks like you commented. This ole boy can see the end of all this coming and this was a great spark to get me goin again. Thank you
Sincerely
Paul
Ok, I dragged and dropped this updated track. Big accomplishment for me:) I tried to address all the comments to the best of my ability. I put some snarl on one of the guitar tracks from Ampire. I replaced the drum track that sound like club music. I resung the second verse to make it sound more like the first. (I didnāt have the lyrics for the second yet) The guitar timing was off, so I dragged some parts of the track and timed them by ear with the click track. I am doing this with only headphones, so I canāt tell levels very well. I am totally fried with this song, but wanted to post a final mix. Thanks so much to all that have helped this old dude. (Going to a ZZ tops concert tonight:) )
Sincerely
Paul
Wellā¦ youāve done a pretty good job at sounding younger!
There are times when you can remix, redub, add lots of effects, etc., and there are times when you can leave a track stripped back to the bare bones, and thatās basically what Iām hearing here. Maybe to some ears it needs more work, but as some of my forum threads indicate, Iām not in a place where I can say your track needs remixing, effects added, let alone how to do it!
Hereās where I am nowā¦ I really like it as it is, but as a bassist yes, a few little walks around the fret-board wouldnāt go amiss, but I really liked the whistling. It added a nice folky touch to it!
Nice one buddy!
Hi Ailwyn I actually added a small stabbing chords guitar track I think at 13% on one side just to try and keep things moving a bit. I ended up reducing the volume to it by a bunch. I played along with it yesterday for a couple of hours with different guitar effects and nothing seem to work, so I just hung it up. I donāt have a bass guitar here with me at the moment and I agree it is much too tame. I did put a snarl type effect on it to make it slightly interesting. I think it might be a little low in the mix too.
Thanks very much for listening and commenting. I am gonna keep after this until it sounds as good as I can make it. I would love to have just a gal singing this telling of her fantasy??
Sincerely
Paul