Like I said on my last post I think @Chandler had a more creative and entertaining tune than I did so here I am again with something that’s at least more mainstream than my last effort; if not as appealing as Chandler’s was 
All comments and criticisms are welcome, thanks for listening.
REVISED 2nd attempt with suggestions from Terry.
This is really good. It’s a tune that wouldn’t be out of place in my daily playlist listen to be honest.
Criticisms, seem to be missing a lot of the accents on the drums, the ascending flute part at 2:37 is a good example, and it’s far too short.
Thanks for listening and the encouraging words @terryhesticles . You’re right, getting the drums to sit right is always a challenge. I went pretty conservative here because this is a mainstream track to my ear at least. Now with your comment I’m hearing some more snare hits like you say. We’ll see what I come up with. 
I was more thinking the odd understated cymbal hit here and there to highlight/outline some of those changes. There’s another ascending flute part at 1:04 which is acting as a turnaround and quite an important section that just doesn’t seem to be getting the accompaniment from the drums that it deserves.
I posted a track in the OP with my attempt to use your suggestions @terryhesticles . See what you think?
I think my vague suggestions are making things worse rather than actually helping.
I should have been a lot clearer in regards to the accents that I’m hearing in my head.
If we break the turnaround section at 1:04 into 2 bars of 6, I’m hearing accents on the down beat at 1 and 4 of both bars.
Whether they be a deep ride hit or something else I don’t know, but they’re the downbeats that feel like they need highlighting.
In my humble opinion of course, take it or leave it man, I could be full of shit hehe.
@terryhesticles I like what you’re saying and I appreciate you taking the time to help. I think I’m closer to the concept that you laid out; I’m not sure about the mix, of course it sounds different everywhere I listen to it.
There’s a lot of hi-hat in the mix from where I’m listening, but you may have chosen to highlight that specific element too.
Otherwise there’s nothing that really sticks out to me in a negative way, although being a rock guy, it would be nice to hear some more kick and side stick, but that’s really just a matter of taste.
Yeah I have to be careful with it, the hats come out different on different speakers and my hearing is weak in the sizzle range. More kick I could agree with, it doesn’t play a big role in this for my taste. The side stick is critical here, I did some automation on that but I’ll have to come back and make some adjustments after it all sits for a while.
Thanks again for listening and helping with this Terry.
The second mix seems a little crisper, @ingolee . I like it a little better. May not be harder rock, but it has a nice melody and structure going. I can certainly imagine it being expanded, even singing.
Here’s some semi-silly words it brought to my mind-
Underwear
I thought at first that I was dreaming
When I saw you there
Lying in my bed like I was scheming
Trying not to stare
Appearing to me without a warning
Like a truth or dare
A beautiful vision now adorning
A fragrance in the air
When I saw you there
In your underwear
You looked like an angel in the morning
Opening my eyes
I looks like my comment from before didn’t go through. Anyway, this sounds great. I liked the guitar playing and overall vibe of this. It reminds me of footprints by Wayne Shorter. The only thing I would suggest is bringing up the drums, so they are driving the piece a bit more. Great job.
Thanks for commenting @Chandler, you are spot on with the Footprints influence, I’d play a three beat jam for everything if I could! The drums are always a problem for me, the feel, the mix I’m never quite sure what to do there so I’ll try your suggestion.