I had almost forgotten about these poems I did. I am sure you will figure out who I am talking about. I used a Amaj7 and a Dmaj9 for much of it. Anything I could fix??
second take with solo and bridge…
Going away
You have been the light in my life…the deepest love in my heart
I knew you were special from the start.
I’ve been dreading this day…we’d… have… to…part… you’re
going….away………so very far… away……yur
Going away……I know I can’t ask you to stay
I’m gonna miss you girl …oh…I’m gonna miss you girl
You’re finally out there on your own…mistakes you’re gonna have to own
Don’t feel bad if you don’t phone home
cuz that just tells me…… you’re… not…feeling …alone….you’re
going….away………so very far… away……yur
Going away……I know I can’t ask you to stay
I’m gonna miss you girl …oh…I’m gonna miss you girl my little girl
As a father of a daughter, I’m not looking forward to those days, but then when she gives me a bunch of attitude, I’m perfectly fine with it. hahaha
@feaker, another gem. Well done!
If anything, you might consider extending some instrumental sections between chorus and verse, and maybe bring it around lyrically with a bridge that talks about the upside of her growing up, etc. and finish with the chorus again? That’s my only 2 cents
Hi sir Both of my girls were told upon hs graduation, they had to “get out there in the big world”. I never let them know I was hurting a bit when they each left.
Your take on this track is kinda what I was thinking. Two minutes is way too short. I need something in the first 14 sec too. A bridge could be fun. I might put in some real drums too?
I complained to Roz this morning that I was bummed the track was done and I would have to think of another. You just gave me a ton of time back in the studio. thanks a bunch
Hi feaker,
I always love the AM7-DM7 combo.
Love is abundant in this song, and I can feel the emotions in your voice.
Very lovely tune, and the message is even better.
Short, and sweet, and melodic, but most of all, from the heart!!!
Simply beautiful.
Rene
Hey thanks Rene. You aren’t so regular around here anymore and that is a little scary. Updated track with a solo and bridge
Going away
You have been the light in my life…the deepest love in my heart
I knew you were special from the start.
I’ve been dreading this day…we’d… have… to…part… you’re
going….away………so very far… away……yur chorus
Going away……I know I can’t ask you to stay
I’m gonna miss you girl …I’m gonna miss you girl
You’re finally out there on your own…mistakes you’re gonna have to own
Don’t feel bad if you don’t phone home
cuz that just tells me…… you’re… not…feeling …alone….you’re chorus 2
SOLO
Baby breath…little steps and playgrounds Cm7 D Bridge
Tiny pedals tricycle goin round and round
school play yur the star …finally graduation my little prom queen is crowned E
chorus 3
Hi @feaker ,
Love your tenacity and your prolific work!!!
I have been detached a bit from music recording, as the Holidays seem to be in the air.
We have been busy with providing music in 3 churches, and will be busier in the next few weeks.
I have trying to keep up with you, as much as I can.
I still have to tackle the song you inspired me to handle, yeayyyy!!!
I have been trying to get Clarissa back into my music room to record with me.
She had the flu a couple of weeks ago.
Fortunately, we are ok, and our distancing worked!
Clarissa, might be getting into her professional track, very shortly, and we will surely miss her - this song is timely, and the words are very true and dear to our hearts.
Merry Christmas to you, Paul, and your whole family!!!
Rene
Well now i can relax. Your presence is a big part of this forum, but priorities certainly come first. Clarissa has the chops to take the leap, however we will miss her performances. You are a luck man to have her in your life. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Hi @feaker ,
Love your response, please stay relaxed, and for sure, you are so appreciated!!!
I am behind on a lot of my musical ventures, including the song I am interested in, yeayyyyy!
Merry Christmas to your whole gang!!!
Rene
