Thank you for sharing! Here’s my personal take:
Nine years ago, I was writing my own songs in high school but had no idea what to do with my songs & didn’t know anyone who could help me. In my heart, I felt the need to BECOME the person I knew I needed by studying recording and mixing. As of today, I am now a recording & mixing engineer, and that just so happens to be what I want to do in life.
In your situation, I would like to offer this advice:
1.) Engineers are supposed to help you take your vision and bring it to life. Perhaps the relationship you had with that engineer, despite the engineer’s skillset, was not quite the best.
2.) Perhaps it would be easier to help your music become just as you envision if you learned the fundamentals of recording and mixing. You don’t necessarily need to learn everything that the engineers you know have learned, I’m just saying that if you learn a little bit of the language, it might be easier to communicate between you and the next engineer you meet. For example, the lead singer of the band that I’m recording makes it SO much easier to record when he asks if he can hop on the DAW & adjust the presets on the plugins I have for the lead vocals. He understood what some knobs did, and I agreed to let him drive because I wanted to hear what he has in mind.
Long story short, if you learn enough of the language, it’ll be easier to communicate with the folks who have the expertise to help your music come alive.
Best of luck!