Sounds cool - I like it! Really my cup of swill
I’m not going to comment on the arrangement or the writing, as much as been said about that already. Mixwise, it needs some work to stop the buildup of mud and boxiness and balance the high end with the low end better.
You have a buildup around 115, and another big one at 180hz and at 370hz. There is also a broad lack of midrange in your mix centred around 800hz and extending up to about 1.5k. Also the highs and high mids are lacking from about 2.5k up.
The issue sounds like low/low mid buildup in the guitars bass and drums, and not enough midrange/high midrange in your guitar tones. The drums could also use more brightness. You’d be best to fix these issues at the track level on the individual elements, as this will achieve a much more natural sound.
Here’s a little sample of what I did simply by eq’ing the stereo mix. Here’s what the eq looked like:
Here’s what that sounded like: