Talent (Lots of manufacturers, very few working models)
Phlegm Plug for vocals
Single Malt Plug for blues vocals
Pay Somebody Who Knows What They’re Doing Plug (The time and frustration savings alone are worth twice what you pay for the plug)
Time Machine (Combination of #1 and #4 in a bundle that gives you the five year learning curve back so you can spend it with your wife and kids)
De-SatchUration Plug ( Removes all the junk off popular music sites so only the good stuff stands out and makes what your wife thinks is a hobby more profitable)
You forgot the “Charisma” plug. An online reviewer once said my vocals were lacking charisma. I didn’t realise my lack of charisma was able to be detected even without my actual physical presence… So there is obviously a market for this style of plugin.
Shoegazer: Great emulation of singing off axis, with sibilant hair-slapping on front of mic while singer avoids eye contact with audience.
R&B God: Periodically inserts orders to “Put Your Hands In The Air” into lead vocal track. Comes with webcam so you can check if your listeners are actually putting their hands in the air. Great time saver, since you can write a lot less lyrics.
RHCP: Makes your vocals sound like you are wearing nothing but a sock. If you can pull that off, you have mastered Charisma.
Lemmy: Perfect simulation of vocalist who doesn’t give a damn about what you think his vocals sound like to you, thereby making them sound perfect to you. Leather studded sock included.
Turd in Punchbowl: Simulates crestfallen feeling you get when online reviewer says you lack charisma, adding that slight awkwardness to your work. Includes free recording tips workbook, showing reviewer in orange stained underwear eating Cheetohs in his mom’s basement while he cleans the heads on his Tascam 4 track cassette “studio”.
Automation is big part of what pro mixers do. We tend to reduce dynamics with compression and make the song sound more linear, automation is great way to bring excitment and have every section of the song have a different feel.