Wrote a new song today..was wondering maybe movie?....done thanks all

Wrote a new song today..was wondering maybe movie?....done thanks all
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#1

My dad died at 48 but I still think of him often. Each morning he would wake us saying either " daylight in the swamp" or “rise and shine” Well anyway I had a couple of things I wanted to do this morning. I was going to rebuild my lawnmower’s carb and fuel pump. I started getting sick so i came in a sat for a few minutes. My new pacemaker fires when my heart goes below 50 and it gets me ill. ha ha Anyway, I said screw it I am going to produce a complete song today with the thought of those three words rise and shine.
Unfortunately it didn’t turn out about my dad. It ended up being about a gal who lost at love. Listening again, I heard some words that I should have held a little longer. I made it up as i went, so it doesn’t flow just yet, Anyhow if you have time, give it a bash
edit…cleaned up a few things…added a little into and break guitar…this is the best I can do :slight_smile:

Paul

Rise and shine
Fireflies… see them glow lyin there watch em come and go
An Inner peace ….a warm release thoughts of love so long ago
There’s still a flicker of light inside tucked away that once was forced to hide

It’s time to rise and shine again lose the hurt… and get on your way
It’s time to rise and shine again don’t look back…ooo you’re gonna be ok

Your lonely heart…. torn apart…. It is healed let it love again
Baby steps a deep breath it’s been too long…your heart in chains
That little light will grow into a flame…you’ll be loved there will be no pain

this one is the final with no drums???


#2

Very touching, very well done. Sometimes circumstances create a perfect moment for writing a song and you should try to capture that mood while it is there and I think you did a perfect job at that.


#3

Thanks for that:) Something different to sing about is always the biggest challange.

{ai;


#4

Yeah, tell that lawn mower to wait!

I like this a lot Mr. F and yes it would fit in a movie or TV thing I think. Maybe with some strings!?

Glad that you are OK, I guess the new boss (pacemaker) is calling the shots now, that 's tough but if it works and keeps you around that’s a good thing.


#5

Hi guy Yes I got really pissed and that didn’t help matters. Later this evening i started feeling better, so that is a good thing. No biggy. I did think of strings for this but i don’t have that ability. I was going to try and learn the violin, but was told not to try. I like to think that everything is done by me, but I usually think it would be better to learn midi. The song is too short, so time to think bridge, solo, etc. ha ha


#6

Hi there Paul,
there is a lovely winsome magic to this song… love it…
I’ve never seen a firefly but you capture a great sense of that elusive flicker and there is a real emotional sense to the vocals. The rhyme feels effortless and works really well with a lovely flow. While I can hear that strings could work, I think that this song works really well with simplicity… the mix feels a wee bit mushy at the moment but in terms of production, for me it has enough instrumentation as it stands… you have a really nice ‘truth’ coming through in your vox that is heart-catching…
This is yumyum! :sunglasses:


#7

Hi there dear friend. We call them lightning bugs also. Kids love chasing them. They light for only a second and then off for many. I started the the melody lines finding out that the notes c b g go with the c chord and the g. ha ha I have no idea where the words came from. It was a fun thing to do and occupied a block of time when I was struggling a bit. It will be fun now to go mess with it a bit and clean up a bunch of stuff. I know you are real busy so i appreciate that you stopped by. Getting ready to plant the garden. Those darn carrots are a pain. So glad you liked this crazy little quicky

Paul


#8

Man, how did I miss seeing this??

Great work Paul, really like this tune, very nice sound, cool vibe in the lyrics. I would dial the bass down just a little bit and maybe make the drums a touch louder, but that’s about all the tweaking I would do. I sure envy the ease with which you come up with these excellent songs, “made it up as I went”… I wish!


#9

Hi Dave I have to admit I like when you comment on my stuff. ha ha It just feels good recording again. I turned the bass down and tossed the drums. I suck at drums because they are midi. Just another one to set on the shelf. What next??? I think you have a great chance to win the fever contest.

thanks bud