Hey Dan! I think this is awesome, I love it. My first impression was it had a very dark sound and the standard reply/recommendation would be “cut some low mids”, but then I remembered exploring the Stoner Rock genre a few years ago and it has a similar sound to it, so you’re probably spot-on genre wise. I might suggest brightening things up in a few sections … just for some variation. Mainly just so the music and vocals are bit more clear. I noticed some harmony vocals later in the song (*) but they were so dark sounding and low volume it was kind of squint-mode to hear them. I think they could be a bit louder and brighter, just to be able to hear them better. The vocals sound really good to me, and a nice contrast between their subtle sweetness and the crunchy driving beat.
What’s that drone synth in the background? That’s a great arrangement element, really grabs the ear. I’d love to know what instrument/patch/preset you used for that, and really any other notes you’d like to give on how this song was recorded and mixed.
That last minute of the song is killer with the Sabbath vibe jam, though I’d like to hear the snare come up just a bit there for more impact somehow to match the intensity. IIRC, this genre does tend to stay in a consistent mix zone, but an overall recommendation would be to add some variation in automation and tone throughout the sections to make it more listenable to people who are not big fans of Stoner Rock (but genuinely like this song) and to help them get through the 5.7 minutes of it.
Edit: (*) Those vocals are about 4:00-4:30 and are saying “Remember” if I’m hearing them correctly. Once I focused on them and understood what they were saying it wasn’t as frustrating to wonder what it was, but for a one-time listener I think they could be just a bit more succinct while still being a bit subliminal.
I now heard the strings better too, on second listen. I think that’s a challenge for this mix, is getting the little psycho-acoustic subtle elements to be clear but not obvious. And about the snare in the last minute, maybe not louder but add some very strong plate reverb there or something where it kind of rings out into space. I think it would be a cool effect, would add variation, and the tempo would support maybe a 2-second decay on the reverb.